” Me” Time

I wanted to have my life for myself through others who had affected the meaning of my life and had given a rationality to others through me. In this journey, I had never been liberated in the name of responsibilities which were also my liabilities to meet before actual liberation.

I wanted to continue my childish and innocent attitudes but I was reminded of the age specific changes that seldom suited me and never liberated me. I had learnt the complicated philosophy of life from the simple game having snakes and ladders as the main influencer and controller in the game. I had learnt the cooperations from outdoor games. Even the thin pieces of fifty-two playing cards had influenced me to seek different new things to keep life lively. As in the playing cards, different pieces had values in hierarchy, l, likewise, got the same in my service. Finally, I was like football and never got ” me ” time in this game of life.

Life was free in childhood and was in control of time and expectations of others in adulthood. That was the time of adulthood when I was burdened with many diversified responsibilities, from preparing future generations to meeting the challenges of society, service and others. I had become one of the players in the continued stories of my predecessors.

I met the ups and downs in that period, like changes in seasons controlling lifestyles. I had been accustomed to my life, forgetting rather than ignoring my wishes. 

The time, which was not in my control, one day signalled me to think about myself in this changing world where concepts of life and the meaning of relationships had changed because of developments. Developments that were envisaged to make the life comfortable and easy restricted the activities and thinking to be alone. Everyone was busy and active but mostly on electronic media. Everything was available on finger tips.

I felt alone among all in this new world. I could not return to my native place in the village because of a changed lifestyle in due course of life’s journey. I could not afford those things as I was a part of a transitional generation to the newer one, carrying many old values. 

I had to adjust in this world. I felt alone when I attained a diamond jublee of age and I was separated from service where I was very important and considered as indispensable once. Those were all situational importance and positional requirements. I was compensated well along with monthly sustainable pension. I thought my time was purchased. All my experiences were not useful to me except giving satisfaction to me that I had contributed in some cause.

Now, I am having a problem spending the time given to me. I am a free bird. As a result, I have my ” me ” time. I am turning to my hidden interests with my friends of school days. I have found happiness in small children. They are eager to know the world with many questions which may be replied to by persons like me, having patience. I enjoy their innocence and smile on ignorance, knowing something new. I am also trying to know, like them, about the world where I have to go at last.

Since departure from the world is imminent, I am enjoying my life as destined by God. I am happy that I am having time for my old interest. I know that life is not perfect all the time.

The moral of life is that everyone, specially belonging to service class, should have some different interests to be engaged after retirement. This makes mind engaged, body fit and uses time positively. No repentance, the God has given full time and space. He is the ultimate truth to be known.