I, at the end of my last phase of life, need a fairy to solve all my problems, as my mother and grandmother used to tell me in childhood about her unpredictable power. I know since then that she has had ways for all problems. So, I like fairy always every time in a story and want her in life.
Every night, in my childhood, fairy came at least in the story to feed me, to make me strong and to fulfil my wish after my sleep. I always insisted on the story of a fairy cladded in pink dress. All stories of birds and animals were not as effective as that of my favourite fairy’s sayings were.
One day, I was very worried, not willing to eat, because I had observed that all adult members in the family did not listen to fairy’s tales at night. I wanted to know as to how they eat without the story of my pinky fairy. I asked my grandmother for that doubt. She smiled and said that every adult had been having a fairy for the whole day and night after a definite age. They take care of each other for all their needs and share lives. She had, further, told that I would get a fairy after some age in reality.
I enjoyed my childhood with my pinki fairy and at a suitable time, my living fairy, as wife, was given to me with prescribed rituals and responsibilities. That day, I laughed and got the realities of situations.
After marriage, life started with full gusto. In adulthood, my fairy took her bite at her will. She had been satiating me but at what cost? Who did pay the most? I guess both shared equally for good causes of individual but as together, one by two. We divided together to multiply to add to the time that was always tested and gave opportunities for continuity.
My fairy was enticing and giving meaning to my senses to reciprocate the same. The time was stolen by both of us to mesmerise to forget ourselves. My fairy gave directions and purposes to proceed and process the opportunities to be in dreams to realise the emotional consequences for quenching the thirst of time. What I got was of use for a defined duration. After that, I became accustomed to my life’s fairytale.
Later in life, this fairytale was my treasure to smile and relax whenever I felt free to swing the memories of youth. Sometimes, I wanted to ask for pardon on my extremism without considering its repercussions. I was, as per my teasing attitude, a fool but she loved me.
It should have continued till last for both of us. But, one day, without any early warning, my fairy left to another world. I interpreted that she wanted to take sweet revenge from me with her last smile, holding my hands. I was helpless as usual. Her perpetual slumber created a void in my life.
As a companion, she had shown me the path leading to satisfaction from senses to peace in mind to salvation. She had translated my silence into meaningful words and sentences.
Love never ends. I remember my life started from zero. I recall my life started with zero. I know that life will end into zero. I am playing on the tunes of time. How can I forget my living fairy and fairytale? I want her again and again in my dreams as well as in life.
One day, I turned to my body and found that desires are like many suns. As the Sun is in the centre of the solar system, my desires are the individual centre and all activities in life revolve around them. Desires like the Sun are energy givers in the form of attempts and determination, in turn, control waves in the ocean of my mood because of tides arising with different intensities at different times.
I recall since my childhood and find that my desires and moods are interrelated. In fact, my desires have a very strong gravitational force to attract my mood vehemently and shape my future. The rotation of my activities brings results day and night. When the target, as per desires, is accomplished, it is like a day full of light but at the same time, failure is like a night full of darkness for me, as if life is rotating like earth on its axis. Rays of hope, in the darkness of night, are like rays of light of the moon revolving around the earth. It changes mood, energises will, and rejuvenates the mind to catch the moment before it is too late.
I find that all my senses controlling my activities and located at different places in the body are like planets revolving around Sun-like desires. I am directly concerned and influenced by them. They bring both happiness and sorrow to life. They move my moods. My depression, loneliness and sorrow are like eclipses happening due to my moving moods and coming in between success and hope partly or fully overshadowing them.
In this world, I am sailing my boat without a life jacket. Here, the prevailing nepotism, regionalism, superiority complexes, different faiths and favouritism, etc. are like uncontrolled moving asteroids of different sizes and they may hit me at any time to sink my life’s boat. If I am saved from them, then probabilities of bad habits, addictions and other vicious thoughts may act like black holes and may not leave me from drowning in the darkness.
Here, everything is changing. The position of the Sun changes because of the earth’s rotation. Love, peace, affection and relationships, etc. are changing like twinkling stars. They change with thinking and age. Their light may or may not reach me or may die before touching my horizon.
However, in this changing world, the position of only one star, the North star, is fixed, static and reliable in the sky because of its never changing position. It shows the real direction towards the north. It tells something to every observer regarding the facts of life. It is indicative of fixing the static faith in you, my almighty. You are never changing creator of the universe and this world on earth. The motherland has been brought into existence by you. Everyone should have static and continuous faith in you. It is also interpreted that one day, the bright and hot sun will change into a cold star of another size before death. Life is like that. One day, everyone has to change into inert and leave this world. Life will cease to merge into you, my almighty. You are my galaxy where individual life is controlled by you in all respect. All my desires should reduce, die and lead towards you, my almighty.
The infant is sleeping.
We guess –
Gift of God.
Baby does not know the language.
when a baby smiles, chuckles and weeps.
We guess –
Baby starts knowing the language.
Restrictions’ imposition activates.
When baby grows older.
Courses decide target.
Cycles complete meaning.
Repentance occupies space.
Reviewing changes life.
In the sequence of growth –
Wind swings mood.
Life meets life to begin.
That is the end ?
One day, I met my death on my way to life. I was happy and I wanted to have a talk before embracing my death. I asked my death’s whereabout. My death smiled and told me that it was within me waiting for time to meet me. I was a little bit surprised to be a carrier of my end. I assumed that death was knowing everything of my activities for survival in the world. So, I directly came to the question to know the reason for all activities. The death laughed at me and simply replied, there were many categories of activities except God’s assigned activities. I became worried and asked the reason. The death replied that the reasons were giving priorities to unnatural over natural habits and choosing bad over good. I became more curious and enthusiastically asked to explain in detail. The death stared and told that you all had written a lot but do nothing and you had no time, except for assigned responsibilities. However, the death told that we humans were in problems due to lust, greed and different languages. It, further, said that animals had only one language for emotions and senses in nature, so they were happy with limited contentions, but you people had different meaning for a single word used at different places. You all were confused by such things involving self-interest. My death laughed and told that you, in practice, had different meanings for the same word ” interest.” I had no answer, but I told that humans had developed brains and were capable of doing impossible things. My death agreed, but I was told that except for that difference, we were equivalent to animals in many respects. Because of the brain, the death told, we had a sense of insecurity, we loved others for self-interest, and we fought for supremacy. Because of the brain, we had created God to demand security from all odds. The death said to me, ” God is presently a truth where you surrender due to the limit of your thinking and knowledge. The day you will control both life and death, you will think to be a God.” When I told my death that I had not accepted all views, the death replied that it had no intention to discuss. My death became angry and told me to leave the cage – the body. I requested one more question to know about the death. The death replied to me that it was the beginning of life and answer to my unending questions.
The death started carrying me. I cried to leave me. But no one listened. I cried for help. The death laughed and told me that no one would help or accompany me.
I had lost all my senses, but it was my dream. It was very dreadful. When I analysed the conversation, had with my death, I found the truth of deficiency, selfishness, corruption, fight for supremacy and other vices of destruction in the human race. We had not seen good in others as belonging to the same human creed. The death appeared to be true in analysing our faith and faithfulness to unknown power due to limitations.
I concluded to live well and leave good in a life. My search for peace continues. Perhaps ‘give’ and ‘leave’ are two steps towards it. Our all questions are within the periphery of these two words. I think so.
One night, I saw Moon in cosy mood,
Moon said to me to see inside.
I found someone asking many questions,
But my own questions were unanswered in this world.
In the morning, Sun said,
“I remove the outer darkness,
See within to remove your darkness.
Someone is waiting for you.”
“I am the limit to touch.
Fly but with caution.
You may be pulled down.”
Stars in the sky said,
“Most of us are dead,
But our light exists,
You try to be like us.”
“Vary your speed to adjust.
But be clear in intention.
Everyone is important.”
River guided to break barriers.
Mountain challenged to cross.
The tree smiled to bear fruits.
Animal provoked to be fighter.
With passage of time –
Flower said to blossom,
Time said to move,
Morning said to progress,
Noon said to evoke,
Evening said to catch the moment,
Night said to refresh,
Works said to enjoy,
Challenges said to analyze,
Problems said to endeavour,
Achievements said to thrill,
Progress said to accommodate,
Success said to share,
Others said to give way,
Society said to return wholeheartedly,
Love said to thrive life,
Mood said to adjust,
The relationship said to entertain.
More than these –
Life said to be like nature,
Bird said to be free,
The child said to be innocent,
Aspirations said to be competitive,
Thought said to be holy,
The situation said to be meaningful.
At last –
God said to analyze to be with him.
The world is fabricated like this.
It appears that we have seen our ripping time. I told my wife at the dining table. She was taking care of my dishes and instructing my caretaker rather than my well-wisher as per my health condition. She stared at me in a style opposite to the stare that we enjoyed at a young age. Stares in the history of young age have different meanings at different times and on different occasions. I think that staring is a good, silent example of a homonym figure of speech in life. But at dining time at this phase of life, it is always used as a warning of repercussions, later in solitude in my phase of life. As usual as a right of control, her reply was every time the same related to my health issue. I always retaliated but submitted to her with pleasure.
She is my friend, well-wisher, all-weather partner and caretaker from my childhood. Yes, we have grown together, fought for silly things, protected each other and shared our toys, as we have been neighbours. We do not know when childhood friendship converted into natural love and attraction to be together. Our friendship got one more name of binding in marriage with the consent of both sides’ families.
Since marriage, she has become my companion wholeheartedly. Though we have been in marriage, yet we are friends first and we have no hesitation in conversations and giving meaning to life concerning each other with due respect. In other’s views, the flower had timely blossomed for us and our lives had been disciplined to be rational to have “our” times.
As time is like a bird, it has flown to turn us older and older. Health has sent a warning to be careful. On the front of prospects, we have been blessed with one son and one daughter, but God has taken back our parents for continuity of his cycles.
There is no need to write in detail that many concepts have changed, emotions have been saleable, relationships have been self-oriented and many unexpected heinous things have taken space with our greying hairs. But only she is with me and I may say that she has taken my all problems. I always express my indebtedness to my mother, who has handed over me to another good, sensible, supportive and comprehensive woman. She is the guardian and like a dictator for me but becomes a friend in my time of need.
After my retirement, she has become more conscious related to my health and engagements to be busy. She has a plan to pass the time without repentance on our previous life, which has seen negligence for herself. We mostly play games of our childhood to pass the time together. The only difference is that we are now freer while playing these games. But this is not the solution. We search for pleasures for our smooth survival.
Life may not always be smooth, we know. The time has changed for our son after the change in his status. He has been employed and independent. We have done our duties as parents and grandparents, but our traditional expectations have failed. We do not need monetary support, but only emotional and timely care are required. The main concern is about the situation of being one in the world due to God’s actions.
Still, we are talking about rituals. I have seen many old parents who are like us. We are happy that our children are making their way. But we are waiting for the last breath in life. We do not have opportunities to be busy or to utilize our expertise. Even print media or electronic media or other organisations take notice of we old folks at special times as a token of recognition.
This phase of the life cycle is not well planned. There is no sufficient institutional support for old people dealing with their problems. There are negligible management systems for them. An old-age care system may be evolved into an industry of professionals like health sectors. Robots and artificial intelligence may be modified for the care of older people. Olders are like children. They need care like children. They are useful with their capabilities. They may always be contributors in many ways.
We old folks need graceful farewell and termination from this world.
What is beautiful?
Positive is beautiful.
But negative is also beautiful,
It shows the means.
Beautiful is beautiful.
But ugly is also beautiful,
It gives comparative terms.
Success is beautiful.
But failure is also beautiful,
It instigates the wills.
Life is beautiful.
But death is also beautiful,
It hides the beginning.
Light is beautiful.
But dark is also beautiful,
It gives time and space to create.
Taking action is beautiful.
But not taking any action is also beautiful,
It may check catastrophes.
Beautiful is respective aspect.
But it depends,
It is an individual’s liking.
There are two ends that support each other and fix the limits. These are beginning and end also. These give meaning to any aspect and grace to beauty.
What is not beautiful?
Biasness is not beautiful,
It may devastate the growth.
Pretentiousness is not beautiful,
It may lead to oblivion.
Ignorance is not beautiful,
It may bring extinction.
Compromise is not always beautiful,
It may make cowardice.
Uncertainty is not beautiful,
It may check the development.
I think changes may or may not be beautiful and depend upon their repercussions.
Time is always beautiful. Time judges the time.
I know that the word “no” has saved me a lot in this world. I think that knowledge of “no” is very important and its application is most important. “No” has many meanings as refusal or denial or something else. “No” may give the next opportunity. But I think that ‘n’ of word “no” is more considerate and useful. ‘N’ of “no” is the instrument while ‘O’ of “no” is the operating part. Both together become more effective and result oriented.
It is a responsible word. It is an alarming word. It is a warning word to check, stop and inspect before taking any action or decision. It is like a pause to be ready for the next. It has psychological importance. It shows the attitude and behaviour of the user.
Though this word expresses negativity, it should be used with utmost precautions analysing the situation and evaluating repercussions. Sometimes, “no” becomes naughty. It brings a knot in relationships. It may not give way to the next opportunity or leave scope for redressal. Positional utilisation of this escaping word may bring havoc in any field of growth or improvement or may affect the future of individuals, communities, or policymakers.
The continuous use of the word “no” by an individual may get the tag of psychological negativity or habitual practice. But cumulative use of this word has the effect of denial with respect to differences affecting life or national interests. When the system uses the word “no” to impose restrictions related to traditions, rituals or religious orthodox or thinking of hardliners to curb the progressive nature of society, a revolution takes birth and mass protests start and spread like wildfire. We may trace the role of “no” as a catalyst in many revolutions in the world’s history. In many wars between countries, the word “no” has an igniting impact. Lobbying among countries, in the world, is the outcome of “no” at any point in time because of vested interests and want of supremacy to dictate terms and conditions of survival and slavery.
Every “no” has some purpose, but it should be evaluated judiciously before any conclusion because it has hidden intentions. I think only “No” of a child may not fall in any category except expressing acceptance, satisfaction, dislike, or refusal. Mother nature, a gift of God for our survival, also expresses her “no” in many ways to warn us that we may recklessly not change her. Even animals express their “no” by using horns and legs or anything else that appealed suitable for the occasion. Insects or other organisms play for “no” in their styles. “No” is effectively used against any kind of suppression.
There may be written at length about the proper, wise and thoughtful use of the word “no,” but I think that humans should think twice before saying no. We may use the word “no” without any hesitation whenever we have to leave bad habits and addictions dragging away from God. The beauty or role of “no” always changes controlled by the ecological disturbance in the conditions, situations and attitudes or behaviours of living things. Sometimes, mischievous habits ignite the fire of the silent “no.” Only “no” leading towards God may be acceptable in any case. In fact, “no” requires wise use.
I want to draw a line in the sky to tear it apart to see beyond the limit. I want to be an explorer. I imagine that world as mentioned in the fairy tale – a rainbow’s swing with singing birds, fragrance in the air and beautiful flying alluring objects, etc. Light music and attractive flowers spread everywhere. A place for blissfulness full of greenery and attractive mountains. A fully balanced ecology in nature and many more beautiful things not found in this world.
If I get there, I want to bring a piece of love. I want to feel peace. I want to follow a real path of thoughts of God. I want to see the light to enlighten. I want to see the limit there. I want to meet life. If I get a life, I will request that life to seal the void. I will tell that life that I do not want to transfer the vices of earth. We eat ourselves. We eat humans. We are planning to eat Moon, Mars and the universe. We have our convenience.
I will bow in repentance to ask for an excuse to make vent from our world which is full of uncertainty for existence and always fighting for supremacy and trust. I will not bring anything from that world. I will solace myself with my situational imagination because nobody may realize the truth due to blind eyes of hypocrisy. Our wisdom is to accept our achievements for foolish paradise. We make less and devastate more to be fortune makers. It is the real truth.
If I see any life there, I will pray to God to make me speechless, blind and helpless to save that world. The separation must continue till this world becomes like that world. I want this as the fruit of my good deeds.
I have the desire.
I have dreams.
I have pain.
I have persuasion.
But I have fear –
to leave midway,
to crave more,
I need you because –
You give courage.
You are my partner.
You are my companion.
You are my friend.
You are my teacher.
You are my guide.
You are my emotions.
I have a body and a soul. I have fed my body to keep it healthy to meet the worldly affairs, but I have forgotten my soul’s need to be near you my almighty. I am in dire need of you. I have faith in you but am about to face failure. Your faith in me may shatter. I know that you have been behind me in every action. So let me not be down. I want your blessings on the advent of my death. I pray you to be my sailor in this world and be my porter to carry me to your world. My rest is there. My peace is there. My life is there. This world is full of uncertainty and negotiation.