CONFUSION-The story for beginning

It was a valid question. How long may we go together? She asked. For me ” Why ” was involved in this doubt. So I wanted to know the reason for that question before the beginning of an important phase of life.
She replied that the world is changing fast, so we may also change with the world in time. I smiled to know more. She went on to speak on many examples of having negative impacts and broken lives, full of tears. I agreed for a little but tried to convince her to explore deeply as a social and personal researcher.

We have many types of lives, in one life given and fully controlled by the almighty for duration and extent. In that one life, social responsibilities give this opportunity where two are involved to grow together as one entity to procreate. This life is the main centre surrounded by many types of activities and lives expecting responsibilities. This is a fact where competition should not come in mind to dominate over each other. We should not compromise but cooperate and trust each other for the best results. The natural duties assigned to different genders may not be changed. One may assist or cooperate in such functions.

We are social animals, not like wild animals where most of the duties are responsibilities of females, especially towards children. But such is not the case with us, human beings, as we have developed brains to excel. The moment a relation is given a name, the identity changes with certain terms, as an addition in relation. In your question, this marriage is of this kind.

I agree to accept that society has been very much conservative in this matter towards females, having attitudes mainly restricted to the kitchen and family. Those were the days when education was not in approach of all females and self-reliance was a dream to them. Those conditions began changing when the social revolution started and became successful after a lot of resistance. But still, the plight is not completely over because of male dominating attitudes. Even highly educated males are having such attitudes and their animal instincts dominate occasionally.

Now, after a few generations, the pathetic old conditions of females are changing their course, towards equality and equal terms because of the spread of education among them.

She looked at me differently for more. I continued. Please ignore the doubts and confusion because they kill the future and ruin life. Whatever we are at present, is because of our parents who were not knowing our futures and proceeded in their lives with positive attitudes. We always advance towards an unknown future and our positive attitudes pave the way. Everything will never be smooth and relations are tested in thick and thin. We should always remember that two are better than one to face any situation. One should give inspiration about satisfaction and cooperation. No one is perfect. So more doubt on self’s willpower and control may not bring anticipated results. Yes, there is no doubt that every relationship asks for sacrifice, ignorance, adjustments and tolerance up to a certain extent. The relationship of the mother always demands sacrifice. No one may help you here, beyond a limit because it is above all relationships. Even God needs her.

My views helped her a little. She expressed her doubts because of the unsuccessful marriages of her many friends. She said that most of them are facing court cases. So, she has many doubts. ” Many doubts make someone weak and may lead to loneliness,” I said. You should analyse your confidence before taking a final decision but take lessons from your parent’s life. It is true that relations give rights but brings responsibilities also and life is not like one-way traffic. We should drive carefully. Your words and attitudes play important roles in every relationship. If necessary, one should interfere, otherwise, silence is the best medicine. Honest discussions may bring solutions. If you give a chance someone to be a judge for solutions then one may add fuel to the fire as per his or her interests. Whatever, I have told, is not new but needs refreshments through any means. She smiled a little with a meaningful stare, this time. I thought this is the right time to strike at the right place. I told her that you were too thoughtful to spoil the meaningful life ahead. Moreover, your over consciousness is questioning your self-confidence. Perhaps, you are silently accepting and endorsing the old concepts and traditions related to the conditions of women who were ill-treated, most of the time as slaves. Moreover, educated and self-reliant ladies should take the lead to change the male-dominated society. Rest is in your mind to decide. But one thing, we should never forget that our mothers have made us despite limited liberties. You may also change the world in any circumstance.

Finally, I smiled and said that I could not anticipate your questions to be asked in my old age about future generations, which might have come into existence because of your cooperation and sacrifices. You may not kill God gifted instincts of any gender.

At last, I have a question for you- what will be your reaction if you find out that a girl is proposing to a boy for togetherness in future? You should note in any generation,  natural differences in males and females regarding physique, tenderness, nature, functions and responsibilities etc. may never change except in exceptional cases. You may face many such or other types of questions in times to come with more advancements and the spread of education.

This confession brought emotional reactions to her body from tip to toe. She smiled and proceeded on the important future venture in marriage with confidence. I am with her now blessed in madness in life.    

Half truth

Whenever, we attend discussions in any place of substance, we go through a number of quotations and examples of historical incidents related with the topic. Such discussions influence the working and  atmosphere. If it is a gathering of students, then the attitudes change with aspirations to follow the sayings and characters of heroes and leaders etc. Many of them may be applicable and suitable in changing world but the emphasis depends upon the background of personality appealing to do so. If it is matching with personality, everyone considers in positive. Otherwise, the analytical ability of well equipped gentry may ask many questions. So walk the talk is the best way to impeach someone.

We may find, in pre-independent era, the aspirations and actions, in many cases, of public, were controlled by situations, attitudes of surroundings and behaviors of leaders. Public, on appeal of leaders were ready to sacrifice everything, even their lives. Those leaders had lived the lives what they were expecting from others. Many of them had set examples by sacrificing everything for the nation. The same continued in  post-independent era for a few years.

As the time passed and new thinkings started taking birth, aspirations and actions of people  were also influenced and  started changing. International politics and developments, in modern days, in all aspects of life are also added in the list of influencing factors. Besides, competitions, greeds, lust and cheating factors are also taking influencing sizes and need attentions.

In our social structures, it is clear that tender children get affected from surroundings, family traditions, occupation of parents, school, friends and education. When they grow and get matured, the factors, needed to meet livelihoods, play roles in behaviors’ management. These affect nation building activities. The country becomes strong or weak, depends from here on the influences of leaders and their behaviors.

We are finding that we are missing and fighting with all for self. It is a matter of respect if someone walks the talk. If activities of anyone is minutely observed, we may find gap in credibility. So example is better than percept. Such half truths may not have long life. There was a time of less education and less news spreading means. Many of things were hidden. Now, time has changed. All information are available on finger tips across the world. No one may be made fool for long time.

In the interest of nation every new generation should be well taught and sacrifices of our ancestors should be made known from very beginning in schools to make character building. Otherwise, the present may have opposite effects on future of a nation, when the self is dominating in all walks of life.

The education system should be robust and the teachers should be highest paid of all, as they make eligible all for different services in the interest of nation. If teachers and education are neglected, no nation may flourish peacefully and preachers should walk the talk.

NEVER THINK WHAT AFTER ME

It is misconception in older generation, as to what will be after me? What will be the future? How this new generation will handle the situation?
Such questions are commonly heard in offices and other places where experience and expertise come in due course of work’s execution and problems’ handling. The bosses express their views, opinion and vision like this and forget about their beginning.

There are no questions on age and experience but the discussion leading to discouragement in new comers at a working place may never be welcomed. Any working place should be treated as next home and behaviour of the boss should be like guardian as being father figure. The boss should know that post does  provide forceful respect but real respect is earned from behaviour and attitude. Otherwise, relationships will be formal.

We should not forget that most of the workers are gathered from different places having different backgrounds. The boss should treat them as a family to extract the best from them. If boss has discipline wise, region wise, religion wise and caste wise, biased approach in dealing subordinates, the desired results may not be achieved. The working atmosphere will be venomous. All these expose the fear of boss of losing status and importance.

There is always difference in thinking and working styles in between two generations.
There may not be any excuse. The onus lies on the older generation to accommodate. Younger generation need attention and proper guidance.

If the boss does not treat the subordinates well, like sons and daughters, he or she doesn’t deserve to get respect after retirement from service. This type of grievance of non respect from subordinates is common by retired boss. It also depends upon the traditions formulated by preceeding bosses for each other. We should remember that you reap the same what you sow.

So questions of doubts on future should not be raised in sarcastic manner to humiliate new comers. New generation is always ambitious, agile and more mature. They have proved their efficiencies in studies and have capacity to excell, if get proper treatments. They have already faced tough competitions to hit the target.

There is always an exchange offer, give respect and take respect. New generation has changing attitudes- both services and bosses. They may not wait till retirement because this life will not be met second time. Because of stupid and arrogant bosses, most of the time, subordinates  may leave services or take premature retirements and offices loose assets.

The situation worsens when the boss projects to be like God. This attitude is very heinous for the country and needs complete surgery to make a man in reality, a man by behaviour. Such bosses give rise to revolutionary movements against odds and they need more attentions.

The selection procedures of top bosses should be on  strict norms in the interest of office and not because of seniority or some sorts of relations in higher-ups. This type of selected bosses raise questions to quench their complexes. The working atmosphere may be at stake. Boss may  not be always right.  Boss does not know everything because of chair.