One day, I turned to my body and found that desires are like many suns. As the Sun is in the centre of the solar system, my desires are the individual centre and all activities in life revolve around them. Desires like the Sun are energy givers in the form of attempts and determination, in turn, control waves in the ocean of my mood because of tides arising with different intensities at different times.
I recall since my childhood and find that my desires and moods are interrelated. In fact, my desires have a very strong gravitational force to attract my mood vehemently and shape my future. The rotation of my activities brings results day and night. When the target, as per desires, is accomplished, it is like a day full of light but at the same time, failure is like a night full of darkness for me, as if life is rotating like earth on its axis. Rays of hope, in the darkness of night, are like rays of light of the moon revolving around the earth. It changes mood, energises will, and rejuvenates the mind to catch the moment before it is too late.
I find that all my senses controlling my activities and located at different places in the body are like planets revolving around Sun-like desires. I am directly concerned and influenced by them. They bring both happiness and sorrow to life. They move my moods. My depression, loneliness and sorrow are like eclipses happening due to my moving moods and coming in between success and hope partly or fully overshadowing them.
In this world, I am sailing my boat without a life jacket. Here, the prevailing nepotism, regionalism, superiority complexes, different faiths and favouritism, etc. are like uncontrolled moving asteroids of different sizes and they may hit me at any time to sink my life’s boat. If I am saved from them, then probabilities of bad habits, addictions and other vicious thoughts may act like black holes and may not leave me from drowning in the darkness.
Here, everything is changing. The position of the Sun changes because of the earth’s rotation. Love, peace, affection and relationships, etc. are changing like twinkling stars. They change with thinking and age. Their light may or may not reach me or may die before touching my horizon.
However, in this changing world, the position of only one star, the North star, is fixed, static and reliable in the sky because of its never changing position. It shows the real direction towards the north. It tells something to every observer regarding the facts of life. It is indicative of fixing the static faith in you, my almighty. You are never changing creator of the universe and this world on earth. The motherland has been brought into existence by you. Everyone should have static and continuous faith in you. It is also interpreted that one day, the bright and hot sun will change into a cold star of another size before death. Life is like that. One day, everyone has to change into inert and leave this world. Life will cease to merge into you, my almighty. You are my galaxy where individual life is controlled by you in all respect. All my desires should reduce, die and lead towards you, my almighty.
God and I
I am not beggar by birth. You, the almighty, have written passion, desire, compassion, peace, attitude of submission, inclination towards omissions in life and many more on my memory card in your language for survival in this world. I could have had your treasure intact for sailing the boat of life in your world after translating your wishes into reality. However, the memory card remained the same, but the language developed by humans has overlapped your expectations. They have corrupted it. They have become their own God to formulate favourable rules for themselves.
I am sure your language’s code has not been understood completely and misinterpreted as per will and situations by humans. They have jumbled letters to change meaning. They have changed positions of words to confuse. They have transformed and punctuated sentences to make them passive for the whole life. The memory card has been activated through artificial intelligence for worldly vices – greed, lust, falsehood, anger, fear, hate and selfishness, etc. They have modified themselves to compete with each other to be equivalent to God and influence humanity. They have intentions to squeeze the fears of humans in the name of destiny and desire of almighty. They highlight the dark side of any event to prove their relation with you, my almighty. They twist your teachings. They mend your concepts. They have unveiled many secrets of world and universe made by you, but they are not honest enough to change the age-old beliefs and superstitions for their sake. They use all comfort providing scientific advances but have grudges to change concepts because of you, in the name of your happiness and acceptance. If you visit your world sometime in the future, you may notice the gender inequality and status differences in humans only because of you. They have assigned gender specific duties, only for your desire’s fulfilment. They have status differences for their egos. But they are not capable of turning upside down. Whatever they are carrying forward, are only in your name.
They have restricted the meaning of your love to all. They love their followers for your sake. Their hate from others is an expression of love for you. They fight with each other to carry forward and to keep intact faith in their respective beliefs.
Any true follower of you faces all worldly hindrances to examine and deviate from your real teachings and is considered as a threat to old but useful and beneficial beliefs from their point of view. If he or she continues, despite all odds and shows something miraculous happenings by your grace, they treat him or her like God to worship. However, they fight with each other, for that as per their beliefs and mould his or her achievements for glorifying respective faiths. They use it as another source to dominate over others.
Your memory card is overlapped by cunning thoughts of humans from time to time, my dear almighty. Your puppets play on their own tunes in your name.
I imagine that you may be confused whenever you try to understand your world during the next visit. If you give your introduction, you would have to fit into their different types of moulds made because you have been changed by shapes, sizes, and colours. You are sometimes without shape, also. Here, wrong is right. Here, might is recognised. Here, number and gender matter. Here, every thought is to take over and change the world in your name. Here, human conditions are because of you. You will find that you are the most used and loved one in many ways.
One thing is common everywhere, that you are the inspiration and armour for all beliefs and bellicose. You will find that humans are controlling you. You will find peace broken into pieces. You will find our search of peace in materials, but in vain. You will witness that they have classified your world and made it circus. They are ring masters in your name.
Ultimately, I am drawing pleasure from the changed world, but it is not real. I am having love but not real. I am deceiting myself and only it is real. I have faith in you and want you to spread love with such a weapon that no one may write over or delete it from any type of memory card. Love should prevail. We should be media. You are the source of all.
Beautiful
What is beautiful?
Positive is beautiful.
But negative is also beautiful,
It shows the means.
Beautiful is beautiful.
But ugly is also beautiful,
It gives comparative terms.
Success is beautiful.
But failure is also beautiful,
It instigates the wills.
Life is beautiful.
But death is also beautiful,
It hides the beginning.
Light is beautiful.
But dark is also beautiful,
It gives time and space to create.
Taking action is beautiful.
But not taking any action is also beautiful,
It may check catastrophes.
Beautiful is respective aspect.
But it depends,
It is an individual’s liking.
There are two ends that support each other and fix the limits. These are beginning and end also. These give meaning to any aspect and grace to beauty.
What is not beautiful?
Biasness is not beautiful,
It may devastate the growth.
Pretentiousness is not beautiful,
It may lead to oblivion.
Ignorance is not beautiful,
It may bring extinction.
Compromise is not always beautiful,
It may make cowardice.
Uncertainty is not beautiful,
It may check the development.
I think changes may or may not be beautiful and depend upon their repercussions.
Time is always beautiful. Time judges the time.
Disturbance
I am busy fighting. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am busy remembering your faults. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am busy recounting your mistakes. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am busy observing others for my sake. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am afraid, I am evaluating myself.
I am disturbed, I am consoling myself.
I am obliged, I am bending myself.
I became human by killing an animal in me.
I am becoming an animal again by killing humanity.
I am changing my face into many faces.
I am hurting,
I am healing.
I am gaining,
I am decorating my inner home.
I am one,
I am for someone.
I am yours,
I am submerging my hidden thoughts.
I am flaring,
I am engulfing.
I am helping,
I am checking.
I am deteriorating,
I am succumbing.
I am denigrating,
I am relinquishing,
I am enjoying it.
I have drawn a line,
I have made a barrier,
I have sent a list.
My almighty –
I intend to understand your creations. I want to leave all my bad habits for my sake to enjoy your world, made with expectations. These are my disturbances. I am the dweller with unclear thoughts and an unknown future. I want to be to meet your intentions and live a life of your aspirations. I want to forget myself and my whimsical reasons to change interests for you. I want to follow your rules. I want to be lost in your search. Please remind your mind to this heinous world.
Joy of giving
I wanted to show my strength and prove my calibre from the day society started judging me. I wanted to be a successful man to get a place in society. I thought that every successful man had been pursuing money. I had views that money makes the mare go. I had seen that wealthy people had respect and were welcomed everywhere in society without considering their attitudes and behaviour. So, the day I started my carrier in service, I made money my first and last resort to prove to society. I became famous as a money butcher. My house was big with all the possible modern facilities. My family was respected and invited to every function in society. Sincerely, I was busy ploughing the money’s field to multiply in the coffer. I had been a money printer by hook or crook.
I was not alone in that field of greediness. Before me, there were many souls. I was trained by many of them. Everything was well planned and well shared. I was enjoying myself a lot with all comforts missing my future. I could not say whether I was happy or not. I was depressed about money. The more the depression in me the more the urge for robbing the money was in me.
However, I think that the earth may never be deprived of even a single good human who may not change the thought process in favour of humanity. A single incident may change the behaviour and whole life of a human. The day it happens that day is the real beginning of life in a human. That enlightenment is the need in everyone’s life to make heaven on earth. Before that, any human would be having a life a little bit superior to animals.
My life was changed not by a Saint but by an incident of helplessness of a pious soul. Yes, I say him a pious soul because he has sacrificed his last shelter for the cause of others. He had sold his house to satiate my lust and quench the thirst of others in the system to give meaningful life to orphans. The day I got that information I died in me. I wept for my sin. I became a carcass for myself. I found myself nowhere in the universe but that man was twinkling in the sky as a beautiful, attractive star in my dreams. I lost my sleep for nights. The reality was that I remained a beggar with all comforts stored for the coming generation. My life was a curse. So, I decided to be a human and bring life to myself. I searched for that man and he became my path shower in this world. He became my real teacher who taught me the meaning of life. I learnt only one sentence- sacrifice to the sacred life of others without scaring of outcomes because God is there. God shows the path. Whoever treads, becomes a changer. He told me that I have changed because of God. I was owing to the incident that changed me.
I have changed to writing words and making sentences from words to be on the right path to meet a meaningful life for others. Confidence in me is now defining life. I have realised the joy of giving. I am enjoying positive thinking. I am relishing peace in me. Now, I accept you are somewhere my almighty.
Acknowledgement
I hope this mail reaches you well to read me. My mail is blank, you may interpret me. Life is like that. I am not solely myself. Only a few things are mine in your name. I struggle to be noticed in this life because I have been prepared to struggle. The struggle has been my fate and I want to get rid of factors deviating me from drowning in your ocean.
My almighty! I have sent a blank mail because my life has begun like a blank slate or like a white sheet. I was not aware of the circumstances of worldly affairs until I got the sense to be responsive to situations. Since then, on the blank slate of my life, many things have been written. These are controlled by many factors- local, social, regional, traditional, cultural, religious and national etc.
I know that I am a part of this world and the world gives opportunities but with many hidden controlling contents. Whatever I see, are allurements. I am fish in the net. Net is made of controlling factors. These factors are brain teasers. All factors have been written on my slate of life as per time, space, requirements, intensity, expectations, use and outcomes. They have modified me into business material. I have been monetized. I have a fiscal value. I have been made materialistic in this mortal world.
My almighty, though I have developed a professional attitude and body language because of worldly factors yet your natural factors and embedded codes in my physique has affected me also. I have also performed accordingly as and when every factor has influenced me from outside and from within to be as per your will. But I have not trodden paths to be near you because of worldly factors and dissatisfaction in life due to competitive attitudes and habits to grab more to exist and sustain with maximum benefit, though minimum may have been sufficient to survive.
I have missed the bus leading to you my almighty. I have entertained virtual beauty instead of your real beauty coded in nature and humans. Your all factors have activated me in time but I have been camouflaged by need, deed and greed.
According to human-made factors I may be considered successful and suitable for everything. But I find myself on the verge of bankruptcy for thoughts for you almighty. The world thinks that I am independent but I think that it is a relative term and everyone is dependent on many things. Here, in this world, humanity and human rights are the talks of everywhere with controversial discrimination for self-praise. Humans have always missed real facts for existence because of self-centred complexes and every time a new harmful concept is occupying the central stage in the world. Here, respect is paid to the rising Sun, in every concept and It is common everywhere.
I am succumbing to my situation and have sent a blank mail to you with the hope of your light overshadowing worldly factors to be near you. I have been running on a very smooth surface and having falls continuously. I want to be in your shelter. I am a missing drop of your ocean. I want to acknowledge you only. Whatever problems hinder me, you know the solution. I am medium to blame but still, I know that you are doing good for your creatures. So, I do not want to acknowledge the mortal world. I want your love before I start hating myself.
Indices of life
Many human-made indices in the world are assumed and are used to determine the quality of life of humans and rank a nation. These may not be unbiased or non-controversial. These are human-made standards. But I think that, in humans, maturity and saturation determine the quality of life and are the best indices. Both inculcate interactions with living and nonliving things in the surroundings. Both have no upper limits but govern life. Maturity and saturation limits may be interrelated. In most cases, maturity controls saturation. When maturity increases the limit of saturation may be ascertained. Though it may vary from person to person yet it happens.
Maturity never comes in one day. It takes a lifetime. History teaches many lessons to be mature to get favourable results. Even then the age of an individual may be a maturity factor but this may not be true every time. There is no doubt that maturity changes with age but the level of maturity, matures based on experience, incidents and surroundings. An individual facing many tough situations in life from childhood may be more mature than someone who has not seen rough weather, being of the same age.
Whatever the reason may be, maturity is a must in life. But the immaturity of children should not be missed. Their saturation in getting anything of desire after long persuasion gives peace for a while. Their desire to get to the moon reminds our helplessness and limited achievements in this world. Their immaturity reflects saturation in stories of animals and fairy tales, sufficient for their good sleep. Their immaturity teaches us to be happy with limited desires. Every child with growth and increasing analytical power leaves behind all saturation to be part of the crowd and search for the maturity of various kinds in life.
Maturity gives chance. Maturity creates opportunity. Maturity gives satisfaction and saturation. Maturity claims its cost. The more we become mature the more we have a chance to lose our well-wishers and relationships. At last, maturity inculcates and gives direction to life if saturation is attained. Minimum needs bring satisfaction and saturation with maximum maturity. This stage, on arrival in life, affects the most.
Maturity may ultimately instigate an inclination towards good deeds which may lead to living up to the expectations of God. When saturation, as the aftermath of maturity, will prevail then the nearness to God may approach.
Without maturity and saturation, everyone is like an aimless wanderer and may mislead into wrongdoings. I think, despite all views on maturity and saturation, we should remember the highest level of the fact of maturity that we come to and go from this world empty-handed. This fact of maturity, if learned in the early stage of life, may control all vices, common in the world. This emptiness is the maturity followed by saturation. This emptiness is the guide at every stage and in all spheres of life for maturity and saturation.
Everything is transferable from one hand to another hand in a life of desire. Nothing is permanent. With this concept of maturity, We may always be nearer to God and enjoy life fully. Everyone will be happy if we forget ourselves for others.
The letter “I ” and its effects
” I ” is a letter in the alphabet of the English language. ” I ” has also a meaning as a word. ” I ” has many qualities and influences a human the most. It may affect the brain and life of someone. It has very much vicious spiritual concerns.
It independently or with a combination of other words makes me feel proud, arrogant, self-oriented and stubborn. This keeps me away from exploring myself and keeps me alone in the crowd. I may not mingle with others. I may not understand anyone. I may not respect someone older or younger. I may not accept my everyday responsibilities. I, because of it, feel all in one and I get myself above all at the top. It has infused merciless pride in me because I think that I am the best of all. ” I ” has occupied my brain that much.
I think that ” I ” is the main culprit of all problems in this world. It is the reason for my ego and greed. This has generated a sense of insecurity in me. Because of this, I am losing myself and going away from everything and everyone. It appears like a simple small vertical line, but it may hide all human’s good qualities. It is cunning also. It has the psychological qualities to hide and expose them at the proper time without giving time to the opponents. The dominance of ” I ” in my head is a curse to me.
I want to know the reason for this issue of ” I ” and its inventor. Perhaps the feeling of ” I ” comes from within because of the issue of survival. In nature, according to experience, the fittest one survives. Survival may be the main issue. Otherwise, surrendering before a stronger one may be the only option to survive. This ” I ” makes someone a fighter. At last, ” I ” makes greedy, craving for maximum to dominate over others. Even then, despite all ill qualities like disease, I think that ” I ” has one good quality and that is to get rid of slavery. This ” I ” gives a sense of self-respect in certain cases.
When the self-centred attitudes inculcated by ” I ” are left, then the godly behaviours of someone may influence the whole world. When all bad notions of ” I ” are eliminated to make it ” we,” then a sense of one family appears in the mind. Then, it cares for everyone and shares everything. This ” I ” is the reason for my God and your God.
” I ” is a character. ” I ” is a psychological guide. ” I ” is a science of behaviour. ” I ” acts as a curtain before the eyes. ” I ” acts as a wall before the brain. ” I ” is like a shadow. ” I ” makes life treacherous. The dominance of ” I ” is a hurdle in movements toward spirituality. ” I ” keeps ego as a hindrance to thinking of God. ” I ” should be demolished in everyone’s mind from childhood. When we forget “I ” in us, everything appears to be pleasant and life becomes peace-loving. ” I ” is the reason for hell on the earth dividing and robbing everything given by God in the name of survival. Everyone should get rid of the destructive ” l ” to be happy, hopeful and useful for all.
I have turned 60
I have listened
I have acted,
I have passed sweet kaleidoscopic sixteen,
I have run against time but got to be limited,
I have physically completed my diamond.
I have turned sixty today 24th December 2022.
I have my auspicious birthday tomorrow.
In my journey so far-
Life was an illusion.
I had my wishes always alive.
I was fearless when I was alone.
I was open when I was ignorant.
Every day that passed was my reward.
Everyone I met was my inspiration.
Everything I interacted with was my protector.
Every experience was an improvement.
But-
Society measured.
The body enjoyed pleasure.
Mind explored treasure.
Soul eluded nature.
Senses enticed foolishness.
Still, I am proving my calibre.
I lost-
Loved ones,
Dear ones,
Well-wishers,
My desires,
Echo of life,
My passion,
My smile,
My naughtiness,
My dreams,
My satisfaction.
I gained-
Nothing,
Allured by the virtual world,
Fault findings,
Remembering everything in the mirror of life,
Fainted desires.
I have-
My time,
My passion to revive,
Memorable childhood,
Mesmerizing adulthood,
Summarising old-age,
Now-
I have to be concluded someday.
I have to be in memory any day.
I will embrace my real friend,
A breath controller,
A friend of liberation,
A carrier to an unknown world,
A journey planned on the very first day of my breathing in this mortal world.
Who will accompany me?
I know, no one will.
I know that but is busy for some reasons assigned by God.
I am sincerely thankful to him.
One day-
No choice,
No options,
No, if or but,
No mercy,
No chance,
I will cross the time,
I will touch the horizon,
I will have the last laugh,
I will live till the end reaches,
Let a smile be my recognition.
A wave of real peace in silence.
I will reciprocate in rest.
I will enjoy and realize a beautiful life.
Let life be my friend.
Experience
It is said that experience increases with growing age and this makes a man mature enough to sail the boat in the worldly ocean. Experience does start from when? I think it starts from birth on earth. A newly born baby searches the mother through experiences of touch, smell and temperature of the mother’s body. Closeness with others starts later on but slowly and slowly. This experience is the baby’s treasure for life. After that with growing age, experience increases.
This world of experiences has both positive and negative effects on us. Experience makes our thinking which in turn makes behaviour and from behaviours, habits, character, culture and society are made. If the effects of experiences are positive then the knowledge culminates to the highest level, new searches are found, secrets of the universe and self are understood, and humans and nature flourish. Whereas the negative experiences create problems for the existence of the entire human world, civilisations, and nature. Dictatorship takes place to ruin existing systems and humanity.
I think that experience is the root of thinking. Experience of one type may generate both positive and negative thinking in two different persons. One may follow a bad person for control of the surrounding. Others may take pity on him and serve and help the surrounding.
All types of emotions and attractions of life are emanated from thinking. Both love and hate spread. We may have selfish or healing attitudes. Society’s structures, developments or devastation depend on experience and thinking. Culture develops and history is written.
No doubt our thinking changes with age from childhood to old age because of various incidents’ happening and our behaviour, character, evaluation of relationships and other’s importance also change. In due course of growth in life, the one who only thinks of self becomes obsolete with time. Perhaps no one remembers him even his family. Now in the present scenario of breaking family, one or two generations may keep the family tree alive. But the one who forgets self and always stands for others without any expectation becomes a respectable mahatma ( sage ) in the society beyond all boundaries.
We may get experiences from many sources but self and other people are two main sources. We know that wise people learn from others’ deeds and their outcomes and become experienced to use them. Rich thinking is the main cause which may be explained and described at length by anyone.
Life is just like a coin having two faces- positive and negative. We should always give time to know the history of positive and good doers to learn and analyse ourselves to be worthy of living, giving, sharing and caring. We should also know about repenting, bad persons and their last days of life, to be wise to abstain from their short-sightedness and their negative effects on society. Both good and bad give lessons but choices are ours.
Experience may be overlooked. Experience may be hidden. But experience may not be forgotten. It is the experience that matters most to give direction in life.
santable 