The Heart and I

I have seen physical divisions of land, house, sky and ocean. There may be several reasons for divisions which may be described at length. Even our thoughts have divided all humans. However, I do not want to be physically divided. But I am divided. I am being divided. I have been divided. This is not the end of my divisions. I know that I will be divided many times.

My divisions started from the day I took birth. I was pleasurably divided among many relatives with different names as per relationship. I was not knowing them all except for my relationship with my mother. It was determined by God. She was always special in my life. I was tied to her from within when she was taking a risk of her life only for me. She was my protector when I was outside. She was my unconditional supporter with true guidance without any division.

I do not know the exact time of inception of my divisions in the outer world of unknown people. Perhaps, it started with the journey of my education. I met my mental division as a good student or a bad student in different classes. As I grew older my divisions changed their forms. I was divided by my friends, relatives and my colleagues in the office, etc.

Every time divisions of a friend, foe, well-wisher and obedient, etc. were made after mental exercise but they were given emotional touch to the blood pumping station-the Heart. The heart bore all blame. Though the brain played the game, the heart broke into pieces. Someone cheated but the heart sank or the heart became sad. Even my heart wept. The heart was used as a symbol of life.

All emotional breaks originated from the heart. Specially, all events related to love affairs were earmarked for the heart. It was a pity to my heart. The heart mainly suffered because of the brain. The brain always played the safe game, blaming the heart. Even at working place, I was warned to do the work with a full heart. I could not understand such divisions of full or half heart in working when the brain was involved.

I think, on these concepts, that the heart is very important to think about others, to draw conclusions about others and to decide about taking the job. Reality is the opposite of these blame games because the heart’s functions are influenced by the brain. I may not forget the role of the eye because it indirectly controls the heart through the assistance of the brain and adds fuel to the fire. The eye also plays a safe game and the heart becomes the culprit. The heart is a scapegoat.

Whatever the reason may be, the shape of the heart like a betel’s leaf is very attractive and influences the brain. Such a picture of a heart pierced by an arrow attacks the nerves. I do not want to know whether the heart influences emotions or not, its simplified picture attacks the brain to proceed in any direction. Though the emotional roles of the heart are there yet it is the beauty of life. There should be an emotional day keeping in view the “heart”. The greatness of the heart is praiseworthy and has a place in literature. So sentences intentionally using the heart as a saving tool should be avoided. The sentence “You have no heart”, thrusts all problems of emotions of others on a single person.

Ultimately, I have found that I am not divided by the heart but because of the brain due to which everyone is divided, the world is divided and even God has been divided. Only life is with the heart, controlled by the brain because we are declared brain dead.

Let our hearts be alive to spread love. We should be surrounded by hearty people.

I am woman

I am purpose –
Though I think of myself I have opportunities for others. I am simple for mountains. I am complicated with rivers. I am tough for negotiations. I am zeal. I am zest. I am margin. I am the path. I am a pathmaker. I am a pathfinder. I am a problem. I am the solution. I am predictable. I am unpredictable. I am open. I am closed. I am certain.

I have a historical image –
My smile is mesmerizing. My touch is firing. My eyes are enticed. I am lively from tip to toe. I am a magnetic attraction. I am living the art of life. I am a bundle of happiness. I am a beautiful realization. I never accept. I return wholeheartedly. I am weak. I am soft. I am strong. I am hard. But others decide my fate. When I write my destiny others become objectors. I am a tradition. I am rituals. I have morals. I am beginning. I am an end. I am a drop. I am deeper than the ocean. I am a transformer. I am devoted. I am beyond the boundaries of interpretations.

I am progress –
I am motion. I have momentum. When I am connected with others, I become accommodative. I become supportive. I become an acceptor. I become a rejector. I have weaknesses. I have strength.

I construct and destruct at the same time- I am the source of the unknown. I am expanding from invisible to visible. I am not a commodity. I am not for interaction and interests only. I have values also. I bring the light from the darkness. I sacrifice. I surrender to nature. I am nature too. I give others the right to explore me. I restrict movements. I bind thoughts. I am medium. I am a meditation. I am the ship. I am like worship. I am salvation. I am a challenge and a surprise by heaven. I am deeper than what you know.

I am continuity –
I am journey. I am memory. I am history. I am earth. I am a link between two ends. I am a woman. I am always an individual. I am never an individual. I am a secret. I have wings. My majesty should be given the honour.

My tolerance limit is continuously tested.
You try to know me before you understand me. I lead to reach joys where all questions subside and you obtain positivity to mould your ability towards salvation if you can.

I have turned 60

I have listened
I have acted,
I have passed sweet kaleidoscopic sixteen,
I have run against time but got to be limited,
I have physically completed my diamond.
I have turned sixty today 24th December 2022.
I have my auspicious birthday tomorrow.

In my journey so far-
Life was an illusion.
I had my wishes always alive.
I was fearless when I was alone.
I was open when I was ignorant.

Every day that passed was my reward.
Everyone I met was my inspiration.
Everything I interacted with was my protector.
Every experience was an improvement.

But-
Society measured.
The body enjoyed pleasure.
Mind explored treasure.
Soul eluded nature.
Senses enticed foolishness.

Still, I am proving my calibre.

I lost-
Loved ones,
Dear ones,
Well-wishers,
My desires,
Echo of life,
My passion,
My smile,
My naughtiness,
My dreams,
My satisfaction.

I gained-
Nothing,
Allured by the virtual world,
Fault findings,
Remembering everything in the mirror of life,
Fainted desires.

I have-
My time,
My passion to revive,
Memorable childhood,
Mesmerizing adulthood,
Summarising old-age,

Now-
I have to be concluded someday.
I have to be in memory any day.
I will embrace my real friend,
A breath controller,
A friend of liberation,
A carrier to an unknown world,
A journey planned on the very first day of my breathing in this mortal world.

Who will accompany me?
I know, no one will.
I know that but is busy for some reasons assigned by God.
I am sincerely thankful to him.

One day-
No choice,
No options,
No, if or but,
No mercy,
No chance,
I will cross the time,
I will touch the horizon,
I will have the last laugh,
I will live till the end reaches,
Let a smile be my recognition.
A wave of real peace in silence.
I will reciprocate in rest.
I will enjoy and realize a beautiful life.
Let life be my friend.

Experience

It is said that experience increases with growing age and this makes a man mature enough to sail the boat in the worldly ocean. Experience does start from when? I think it starts from birth on earth. A newly born baby searches the mother through experiences of touch, smell and temperature of the mother’s body. Closeness with others starts later on but slowly and slowly. This experience is the baby’s treasure for life. After that with growing age, experience increases.

This world of experiences has both positive and negative effects on us. Experience makes our thinking which in turn makes behaviour and from behaviours, habits, character, culture and society are made. If the effects of experiences are positive then the knowledge culminates to the highest level, new searches are found, secrets of the universe and self are understood, and humans and nature flourish. Whereas the negative experiences create problems for the existence of the entire human world, civilisations, and nature. Dictatorship takes place to ruin existing systems and humanity.

I think that experience is the root of thinking. Experience of one type may generate both positive and negative thinking in two different persons. One may follow a bad person for control of the surrounding. Others may take pity on him and serve and help the surrounding.

All types of emotions and attractions of life are emanated from thinking. Both love and hate spread. We may have selfish or healing attitudes. Society’s structures, developments or devastation depend on experience and thinking. Culture develops and history is written.

No doubt our thinking changes with age from childhood to old age because of various incidents’ happening and our behaviour, character, evaluation of relationships and other’s importance also change. In due course of growth in life, the one who only thinks of self becomes obsolete with time. Perhaps no one remembers him even his family. Now in the present scenario of breaking family, one or two generations may keep the family tree alive. But the one who forgets self and always stands for others without any expectation becomes a respectable mahatma ( sage ) in the society beyond all boundaries.

We may get experiences from many sources but self and other people are two main sources. We know that wise people learn from others’ deeds and their outcomes and become experienced to use them. Rich thinking is the main cause which may be explained and described at length by anyone.

Life is just like a coin having two faces- positive and negative. We should always give time to know the history of positive and good doers to learn and analyse ourselves to be worthy of living, giving, sharing and caring. We should also know about repenting, bad persons and their last days of life, to be wise to abstain from their short-sightedness and their negative effects on society. Both good and bad give lessons but choices are ours.

Experience may be overlooked. Experience may be hidden. But experience may not be forgotten. It is the experience that matters most to give direction in life.

We should not forget

We always like to listen to the good over the bad. Why? It is nature – I guess the reply. Should it be? As a human – yes. We do not want to meet the bad. But bad gives a lesson. We may analyze our strengths, and weaknesses and prepare ourselves to face the music. Our experience becomes relief measures for others. What after that? What should we remember? What should we forget? I know the reply – remembering the good, useful and pleasure-giving things and memories. But forgetting the bad, hurting and displeasing moments are peace-giving, life-saving and adding life to relationships.

We always act as a sieve to filter and separate useful things. What after that? Is it possible to be choosy? Again the reply guessed is ” no”. Sometimes everything is required whether friendly or not. May we complete the cycle of happenings without the combination of those? Never is the reply. Then by nature, we think of favourites only. What after that? This question is endless and chases up to infinity. After that what? I think all assumptions are competitive to influence all creatures. I think, when we forget ourselves, we procreate. Seeds change into trees to procreate. But this change is inevitable and needs to be forgotten. This forgetting is admirable and is the first step toward continuity and sustainability.
In our day-to-day life, we have options of bad and forgetting others. Selfishly heaven is imagined in these attitudes.

Most of the time we say that we should not or you should not forget. It will be better to say that we should remember. Whenever someone says that you should forget anything, the attention of the listener is lost why do give stress to things to be forgotten? But it is a mistake.

When we start our lives on earth, everything is new and our elders emphasise remembering all. So our habit is to remember. This word plays a role throughout life in every field. But the word ” forget ” reminds us of unwanted things and the addition of another negative word ” not ” makes it hammering. In long run, we forget many things. We have forgotten many good things about our ancestors and for our convenience, we term them as superstitions. Many of those superstitions related to children, morality, knowledge, food habits, nature, environment and behaviours are being found to be scientifically true, after spending time and lots of money. In modern times we have superstitions, but mostly for luck. We have forgotten many old sayings, short stories and proverbs. A number of stories are related to the origin of those sayings and proverbs and the moral of stories gives good lessons to remember for life. Earlier education was not well spread, so such superstitions were a kind of education to remember. We may get many fairy tales, short stories and stories on animals giving lessons to children on moralities, behaviours, emotions and all aspects of life.

When the sense of ” not forgetting ” overshadows memories we may not get the best out of everyone. We may give priorities to shorter and lower levels of services for aplomb. We are witnessing deterioration everywhere. In construction, we are finding weak buildings, forgetting the history of our historical strong buildings. Why? Because we are having less time for history as we pretend to be too busy in this modern, materialistic time for our comfort and selfishness. We are going away from our roots.

I may say this is a mistake of our decision-takers having short-sightedness without considering indirect effects on other aspects of life, the environment and natural things. Our basic education system is firstly towards not forgetting, leading to scoring and passing the exams for livelihoods. We have little knowledge of our ancestors’ glorious history of development. Someone not, but many groups are taking benefit of this ” not remembering ” and dividing society into various sections, for their causes of establishing their truths. They are getting success. But problems have started with resistance to new truths and the spread of old stories.

Better late than never. This saying’s lesson should be considered to save the ” remembering ” from repenting later on spilt milk. Time and tide wait for none and someone will grind his or her axe. He or She is advancing like a tortoise. So we should keep vigil. Our praise of achievements is no self-recommendation. But who will cross the rubicon? We should be careful and sniff like a dog to identify imminent problems. We should start timely as one stitch in time saves nine. We should not forget rather we should remember. Remember to coordinate. Remember to cooperate. Remember to excel together.

Twin Questions

I have many questions causing a high degree of depression. I have medicine for that but I do not have treatment for that. If I accept the present, I am okay. If I think of myself and my life, I find that my journey starts from knowing about my whereabouts which is not seen but imagined.

I have read many suggestions and different views in literature on life’s real journey. But in this world, I am having an independent identity, so I have to have my responsibility for this mission. I have benefited from doubts from earlier experiences. I know that I have infinity as a route and the present-day GPS ( GLOBAL POSITIONING SYSTEM ) can not assist. Our end is the new beginning and our beginning is the pleasant movement toward the end. I think that the end is more important in this journey. The vital question in this quest is of the starting point, to begin with. Who am I? Where have I come from? Where will I go? I again took the support of our ancestors’ views and thinking in this search for the truth of life. The time is the ladder taking towards refinement in thinking for these questions and doubts.

I have a name given by my parents. That is my identity to deal with in the journey of life in this materialistic and mortal world. The achievements in this journey are outcomes of my actions. I accept them as my destiny. But the questions of life remain unanswered and always alive. The search for their answers continues till last. I may guess that the limit of my speculation is beyond real answers. Even the great developments in scientific fields are unable to reach any conclusion. Science has found many answers to the secrets of nature and the universe. Science has become a creator in many aspects like God. But l think that the answers to my twin questions are in the black holes of the almighty. These black holes are invisible to scientific developments. May I imagine that all games of the almighty start from black holes? These are beyond the capacity of eyes to capture, as we may not listen to sounds after certain limits of frequency. So, I think all games of almighty may only be guessed as per individual’s limit.

Everything in the lap of the almighty is invisible. The path of our journey is through the physical body. We start from invisible through invisible in the dark place, to begin with. But I think life’s journey begins from and ends in the black holes of the almighty.

The day science will be the creator by such types of black holes the answers to my twin questions may be recorded. Till then scientific principles of the origins of both life and the universe hold acceptable barring religious theories because for the whole life of our existences and livelihoods we accept the scientific approaches in our answers in all exams.

We remain busy our whole life and forget to address many realities of life. At last, we feel frustrated and try to pass the time willy-nilly. I think that till that day of the conclusion of my twin questions, HUMANITY should get the upper hand in the world because everyone is important and has been destined to do jobs. No one is perfect and needs proper respect and support. We may bring heaven on earth like that.

Till that day of getting answers to my twin questions of life and death, we should not forget that God is the only controller of all activities. Visible and invisible are instruments of his music. But we may not listen because we are limited. We are smaller than a drop in his ocean of secrets and our knowledge is like a tiny island to boost having a niche in his world. We should not boast of that.

My role

I am in search of my role in this world. One may preach to me as per ones thinking. It is the easiest job to perform. The onus of outcomes of my role will be solely mine. I may bear it. I will have to bear it. But my next question will crop up for further roles. So my role appears to be unlimited. Then I may search limit of unlimited for peace.

I have played many roles in worldly affairs at certain times as per destiny. Does my destiny fix my role? Destiny has given livelihoods and relationships for nurturing the future of self and generations to come. I have played my roles, like an ant to hoard before the rainy day, like a cow to give milk to rear offsprings, like a lion to protect my supremacy and like a rose flower to spread good fragrance etc. I have played my roles during thick and thin. I have played roles for the happiness of my dependents. They have accepted me as per their need and they have become independent. I have donated to religious places to express my gratitude to the almighty. I do not know the fate of this act. I have given alms to the poor and needy. I may have not been hundred per cent successful for all. I have tried to go beyond my limit for all possible efforts but I am to play a role other than these roles to prove my birth’s meaning as I am the most developed creature of nature. So my question is valid, despite all roles being played.

I am searching for my real role and meaning in my birth. I do not want to be limited but unlimited to all and sundry. I want to be like the wind for breathing to every needy creature of nature. I want to be like fruits bearing trees to cater to the needs of all. I want to be like a flowing river to ultimately meet the ocean and lose my existence in it. I want a role to be part of the ocean of almighty like a drop of water. Before that, I want to be light to remove the darkness in my heart and mind.

My almighty this world has several distractions to curtain your presence. So in my next birth make me blind with your glimpses in my eyes only, as I am fed up with worldly affairs. I want only one role to be yours and for you, forever. May this be my last birth and I rest in you my almighty, in the deep ocean.

What is mine

The sense of belonging may be considered the universal truth. This sense is the bonding for togetherness. This sense has repercussions on the development of thoughts of ownership, conservation and preservation.

Those who pretend as relinquishers also have interests. I have in my memory the childhood story told by my beloved and handsome grandfather. I was a very stubborn child and used to cry about not getting the desired toys or anything till I got it. I was not knowing to give or share anything, even with my siblings. Then, it had been by habit. One day the same thing was in progress, but this time my grandfather was not in the mood to succumb to my habit. He took me to a house where a child was playing with self-made local and cheap toys given by his father who was not as wealthy as my grandfather was, it appeared. The boy was very happy and invited me to play with him. I played with him in the open ground, ran all around and learned a lot about sharing and giving. I was happy that day. Still, I remember, that my grandfather did not say a single word. I had got a lesson that sharing had real joy. After a few days, I was given another lesson that I came on this earth with nothing in hand and whatever I had, were earlier others’ belongings. So nothing was mine.

We get nothing from ownership of worldly materials but temporary satisfactions followed by cravings for another item. It is a never-ending process. Though we know all from our forefathers we forget it in the nick of time. Any power gets the work done.

We may compare ourselves to the construction of a building. We get construct buildings at selected sites with the erection of frames having holding and sustainability capacity with a particular life period of existence. We construct buildings for different purposes and uses. Accordingly interior of a building is designed which may differ from each other. The tastes of the master and members of the family are also reflected.
At last, after all, worldliness, the fate of a building depends upon the nature of its dwellers and other unexpected situations. But who is the owner of that house? In an actual sense, everyone is the owner because ownership is passed on from one to another at a suitable time. The house is one but the master changes so no one is the owner but everyone is the owner.

Likewise is the case with all of us. The almighty, before whom we all have to surrender someday, indicates that we are having none of our will to say something or do anything without his permission.
He has put the soul in a strong frame of a skeleton with an outer protecting skin cover and many functional systems comprising several organs fitted within the frame. Some of the systems are functional from birth while some become functional at a particular, appropriate time of need and age. The control of all systems is coded in a complicated brain which makes everyone different from each other in behaviours, compassion, submission and protection etc. All scientific developments have not reached the level of solving the complex structure of the controller’s brain. It is a simple looking most complicated structure of almighty.

When a simple creation of God may control the whole body’s systems then think of the unimaginative power of God in controlling the world. We may think of other creatures of God and should be thankful to him for the fraction of controlling power given to us. But alas! this gift of the body is not permanent and is taken back by the almighty at the defined time prescribed by him. The time of departure may or may not be the same for everyone but it is certainly played.

At last, my body is not mine. I am a custodian of it. Then what is mine? Why am I involved in worldly affairs? Why are all these show businesses of might, fight and supremacy? The almighty knows and enjoys.

Once again I am remembering the story told by my grandfather when I was a stubborn child. Nothing is mine.
I have come into the world without anything and will leave it with nothing. I have come from the invisible and I will return to the invisible. Whatever role I play is not written by me but is being played by me and written by a controller, the God.

Is soul mine? The Indian Sanatan religion in the pious book, “the Gita” says that the soul is also because of the almighty. So the soul is also not mine. Whatever, I do, all because of that almighty. Then what is mine? Nothing is mine but everything is mine for satisfaction and happiness for a short duration.

I am grateful to almighty that nothing is mine. Everything and everyone is from him and for him. I am at his disposal. He is my master and I am free of all encumbrances. May God bless all.

They Laughed

When I smiled at flowers, they laughed.
When I cried at my fault, they laughed.
When I wept on my fate, they laughed.
When I fell because of them, they laughed.
When I slipped due to ignorance, they laughed.
When I missed a chance, they laughed.
When I remembered you, they laughed.
When I excused their faults, they laughed.
When I enjoyed my loneliness, they laughed.
When I shared my views, they laughed.
When I cared about their systems, they laughed.
When I failed in my attempts, they laughed.
When I passed the hurdles, they laughed.
When I changed myself, they laughed.
When I worked for them, they laughed.
When I slept in peace, they laughed.
When I wanted a favour, they laughed.
When I wrote my grievance, they laughed.
When I lost my beloved, they laughed.
When I worshipped my God, they laughed.

They judged me. They commented on me and my feelings. They expressed their attitudes, faith and hate. They killed me in their thoughts.

They have different moralities. They have developed their standards. They are doers. They are decision takers. They are implementors. They are assessors. They govern. They are true by themselves. They have a complex of greatness.

My almighty call me back. I have crossed the tolerance limit given by you. Even you have been defined and limited to their whims. They know how to twist your teachings.

Almighty! may you delimit your existence. I am to live in this world as per your wish, but your existence is at stake. You are being exchanged with their attitudes and dictatorships. Fear of your wrath is their strength. You are like a rubber stamp. You are a seal, taken for granted. They are two-edged swords. You have been divided for their convenience.

Now the question comes – who is supreme? Who is the controller? What is the reality? Who will bell the cat? Only darkness appears to be a distinguished reality. Your light is awaited again. You matter the most.

Finish

The finish is an important word which is for the beginning of the next. It is an encouraging action and acts as a bridge to cross the hurdle. We always listen or are given instructions to finish first in many activities, in day-to-day working at different places – homes, schools, offices, factories, game fields, businesses and battlefields etc. This word has a cosmopolitan culture and universal acceptance.

The emotions, attitudes and style of saying this word may differ according to time, relationships, mood and places etc. If a mother says this word to her child who is unwilling to drink milk or wants to miss the meal to play with friends outside, the emotion will be mixed with love and a little bit of fictitious anger. Father’s attitudes toward finish may be different at the time of the study, play, entertainment, eating and sleeping etc. for the same child. There may be love or anger or both. Here, the finish has the hidden attitude of preparing the child for the future with discipline and many more to assume as per traditions.

In offices, emotions and attitudes related to finish may be as per hierarchy, quality of work, importance, target, achievements, emergency, behaviours and timing etc. In schools, the finish word has very important relationships between teachers and students as the future of the students and the nation are shaped there. Their love, attitudes and emotions etc. change frequently or remain for longer durations. This never changes the feelings of students toward their alma mater. On the battlefield, the finish word is mainly related to life to win the war for the safety, security and progress of the country.

Such is the difference and vast implications of word finish. It is the time tested that only the finished, may not return but bring new options.

Finish may generate ideas to be good and give lessons to improve. It may be inspirational and may be the reason for innovations. Even the finishing of life, termed death, of someone, beyond return, imparts spiritual knowledge, thinking, meaning and aim of life. The finish is path maker as per profession and path breaker as per action. The finish gives space. The finish gives chance. The finish is always with the beginning. The touch of the finish line in a game gives many things – name, fame, inspiration, money and a new beginning. In life, the finish may merge with God for salvation. Even incomplete FINISH is worth it for the future.