She and He – The story for understanding

It was the first day in the office in his second service, where he saw her in a simple matching attire but with full confidence in gaiting and impressive conversation in that male dominating big room. He was completing necessary formalities in that administrative office. She was mediocre as per the standards of beauty but she had made a niche in his heart for regular attention in the coming days.

His brain and heart started discussions with each other, about her, affecting his days and nights. This took him to another world of mesmerising attractions of her all activities in dreams and realities. He had forgotten himself in the day for her glimpse and the night in dreams, imagining life with her.

These started affecting his behaviour in the office where he was spotted one day by the sixth sense of her, though unknowingly but got some space in her thinking. That culminated in love and the relationship got named husband and wife after marriage, having little resistance from both families.

The choice was proving best but the name of relationships demanded rights and responsibilities both in office and home. That took more space in the matter of discussions in married life. That was the beginning of bitterness in happily married life. All well-wishers and family members did their best but the relationship reached the verge of splitting.

They were the topic of spicy discussion in the office. Earlier it was for the love affair between them but now it was for the failure of such relationships after marriage. Both were trying to save the marriage. So one day on the advice of his seniors he managed his transfer to another place. That separation worked. After a few months, both of them realised that it was necessary to give space to each other as a companion rather than being masters with rights. It also became evident that some of the members of both families, in the name of sympathy, were shedding crocodile tears for their vested interests in their incomes.

It took about four years to realise the realities of life. But late is better than never. There was hesitation in taking the lead. A well-wisher friend, who had played the role at the time of their marriage, took the charge to reunite them. She gave her ears to the advice of that well-wisher and took the transfer to be with her husband in the same office where her husband was posted.

It was a moment of hesitation and pleasure for both of them. Her husband was waiting for her at the station as if it was their first meeting. Life’s joy was waiting. Their eyes blinked. The earth spread and the sky covered it. Their heartbeats synchronised. Tears washed the differences. Breathing became melodious. Silence became music. Waves in the ocean settled for bearing the fruit. Both smiled and recognised that their differences made them one. Relationships should be dealt with at heart and business by the mind. They thanked the time for being a teacher.

Their success story in life was that they were celebrating the silver jubilee of their marriage with a daughter who was the life of both of them. They never reminded each other, of the old happenings but saw the future for future generations. They were sitting with their daughter in the same corner of the same hotel’s dining hall where their love had flourished. There, they were enjoying with shyness the plethora of questions of their daughter.

The ” Who “

One day,
Every day,
Happenings happen.
No one may be fully confirmed,
About the world’s formation,
What does come first?
What, why, when, how,
Questions start from them.
But I think,
” Who ” is more important,
To begin with.

This ” who “, defined, as per faith, is behind all….. This all may range from tiny, invisible to visible ones.
This ” who ” has all commands and knows the secrets of – why. ” Why ” may be because of commitment or intention or anything beyond our analytical skills.
” Why ” might have given way to – what. This ” What ” might have a large canvas to be used to translate the whole document into reality. The timing and sequence of origin and evolution of creatures along with specific roles might have been decided by the controller ” who “. That might be relevant to ” when ” and ” how “. This ” when ” might have been the most important in space and time for origin, growth, development and modification etc. and ” how ” might have defined the method or path of appearance in the world.

The ” who ” might be having very sophisticated and ultramodern laboratories, beyond our imagination for all creatures. There might be many supercomputing and analytical technologies as assistants to the ” who ” to take a final decision on the shape, size, role and importance of every creature to maintain balance and sustainability.

I think, to make the creative world competitive, attractive and creatures engaged in doings, the ” who ” might have given ‘ hunger ‘ to every entity. This common hunger has been playing a vital role since the beginning of life and the present changing world is the outcome of this.

This hunger is an important aspect in completing the purpose of the life cycle in every creature. Because of this, we are together in relation. This hunger changes its requirement when it comes to satiating the brain which has been given by the ” who ” to every creature to explore the secrets of the universe – the playing field of the ” who “. If we think, assume and analyze from the beginning of life, we may find that the hunger of the most developed brain is the main reason for present-day problems in respect of different nations, religions and attitudes etc.

It is beyond doubt that earlier humans might have developed humanity after several fights and knowing their futility. We should think about the ” who “, to make the world lovely, romantic, and liveable for all, together with good thoughts. We may do it if we think of that almighty ” who “.

Departure – A story for compromise

Where have we reached? Which direction are we going? Have we expected this? I was with my oldest friend. We started our lives together on this earth on the same date in the same village. What a miracle we are together since then – in school, in service and after retirement. So we are one soul. We know each other better than our parents.

God has given us full support with his blessings. But at the last stage of life, my friend is very disturbed because of his granddaughter. She was good in health and wealth but her married life’s conditions took the shelter of court for friendly separation after three years of married life. He was perturbed. Whatever was earlier considered unacceptable, is happening friendly nowadays. No one wants to compromise or tolerate odds. Why should only I? This question is worse than hell. In our time society, relatives and family members could not tolerate or accept such thinking. Marriage means, being together forever. It is made in heaven. But, now it has a different approach. My life is mine. My decision is for my welfare. My and I are first. My family and your family or many other factors are also playing roles.

All changes in the thinking and society took full review in our minds. We were happy and together in paucity.  Now, our limitations appeared lovely. We had roots intact and love to love all. Our homes were first on the priority list. Our expectations and anticipations were close-knit with family, friends and society. 

We accept that women have been the worst sufferers due to full dependency on males in the family.  We had realised it in our lives at early stages. We had seen restrictions on girl students – no more movements, no liberty, limited education and full obedience. We had read about many improvements but problems were there because of a lack of education and independence. We had realised the position of women in villages and encouraged our daughters to get full education for independence.

We accept that our daughters took care of their daughters and our granddaughters are financially independent, ready to take decisions and courageous to face problems. They are doing better and giving messages to be educated. They have taken the opportunities.

We are both friends and have witnessed developments and growth in resources of education and support to girls to be free of plights seen by their predecessors. But a new type of problem differentiating villages and cities in regards to the availability of essential facilities has taken place. Villagers went to cities, though living in miserable situations there, did not want to return to their native places. Old people from the village may not live with their sons and relatives in the city because of outsiders’ feelings, restrictions and lack of a healthy climate etc.

Everyone in the village was having a relationship, and helping attitude during thick and thin. They were one. They had news of all. These things are missing in cities. Most of the population migrated from villages, like leaves separated from original trees and flying with the mercy of the wind. So, the history of many families is not known in the city. But in villages, such is not the case of missing family history. These all help in making discussions and taking decisions. It is very informative for an institution like marriage. It is somewhat missing in cities. Most of the marriages are solemnised only on discussions between the two aspirants or through matrimonial sites where the roles of elders in the family are to agree only. After marriages, in most cases, turmoil starts because of a lack of submission, compromise, healthy dialogue and huge differences in views. Besides these financial matters, male dominating ego, financial independence of females and family’s interference on both sides are also aggravating the relationships. Then the roles of courts for separations and freedom from misery come.

My oldest friend’s granddaughter was also prey to all such nuances and the matter was in court for friendly separation. But separation is always harmful and should not be encouraged. Two families lose good time, money, and healthy society structures. The children of such families suffer the most. My friend was very upset about the deteriorating values of life. We are the example to foreigners of centuries-old family values and cultures. They are adopting our values and we are accepting their ” use and throw ” lifestyles. What a pity? 

My friend was weeping and I could only console him. We could only help each other. We know that the reasons may be many but education has to control the mind and thinking. In the education system, another English system is playing a role? Perhaps, we may never see daughter-in-law, mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law together to retain the traditions and culture. No doubt, everyone matters but compromise may not be ruled out. We compromise at every place – education, working places, and otherwise. But we do not want to compromise on the most important aspect of life. Why? The ego of being male or female?

Earlier we had come across a case where the husband was jailed for mischief in married life, but compromise got a place after discussion and the couple is living together. Ugly separation should be the last option.

My friend said no one may be perfect with all qualities but live together with all odds, with willpower. Arguments and differences are spices in life. Now life is not easy. It is full of tension, leading to depression. Psychological problems and monetary situations are playing roles in life. We know the repercussions of fiscal positions in behaviours. We in the village face it but have the satisfaction of not purchasing everything from the market for living and meeting both ends. Most of us have our own house and produce our items for food. We live with limited resources. But in the city where payment has to be made for everything, fiscal conditions affect life and such situations may arise if there are differences in views of life in marriage. During the economic recession, we found the end of many families in many countries due to the bankruptcy of many industries and fiscal institutions etc. Such separation was rampant.

My friend became more serious and said we should take care of the future from the very beginning of service because in this world money matters more than relationships. It may bring peace at every stage of life. It may stop separation on any basis. We have travelled from the combined to the nuclear family stage. No one is ready to sacrifice for life. Growth in a career in service is more important than family. Even children are considered a hurdle in life. Is it life where no one is to share or cheer emotions of life? We are becoming a machine. Now, education on our social and moral values is a must to avoid such separations.

I agreed with my friend but not completely. This difference is the basis of our friendship. We fight but discuss the reasons for the fight. We never forget our smiles.

Thieves

Legal definition of thief may be meaningful. Thieves may be categorized in places. Social norms for the categorization of thieves, in practice, may be different everywhere. Some may justify the situation-based actions of thieves. Some may identify thieves on preoccupied speculations and practices. But the legal definition of thief finally prevails.

When I see around us and think about theft,
my views summarise as – I am one of the thieves. It is true everywhere. The action of stealing may be classified as direct or indirect. The direct ones identify the person and penalise. Sometimes direct action may be because of helplessness or need-based. Occasionally inactive operational systems may be involved in such cases as instigation. Even then it is punishable. We may write or deliver at length on this type of theft. Words may be stronger, mightier, influential and encouraging but there should be remedies also. No one is born a thief.

When I say I am also a thief I agree to indirect actions. I have not utilised time and opportunities completely or wholeheartedly. If I analyse from childhood I find that I do not have rosy pictures in my memory. I have seen hoarding attitudes in humans, disproportionate to their honest, just, professional and official incomes. Most of them, though socially recognised for their lavish lifestyles, has never been noticed by the inspecting authorities or monitoring agencies. We may assume that everyone is sailing in the same boat. All such thieves are cousins. Who will bell the cat? Everyone knows the secrets of each other and loves power and not responsibilities.

Such indirect actions of theft are like varieties of worms harming wherever possible. They want to get more than their positions’ entitlements and pursue wrong practices because of greed. They are not honest to the chairs which they adore and spread corruption. These are affecting the growth of the nation, tax evasion and escalating the cost of various projects due to delays in their implementation and timely completion. The public money collected by direct and indirect taxation gets wasted. Ultimately everyone suffers. Due to corruption, the qualities of completed projects and products are not up to the prescribed standards. Most of the roads, dams, buildings and bridges etc. are damaged or collapsed untimely. All types of enquiries carried for fixing the reasons are as an eye wash to divert the rage of public and to protect all responsible fellows. In my view, responsibility is not fixed to the system only but all general public are also responsible. Where ever possible, they also enjoy contributing through their share by not matching with assigned duties. Most of them remain busy commenting on others’ work ignoring their duties.

The country remains busy most of the time in making arrangements for basic needs because of these corruptions. These activities stay upliftment of public and instigate direct stealing in general. Political parties after ascending to the thrones dictate their terms and conditions for development. Most of the time the initiated projects of development and other schemes by rival political parties, occupying the thrones earlier, appear to be futile and detrimental to the society and nation. Such projects are derailed for want of funds or modified to suit the policies of the current government. The ultimate sufferer is the public and public money. It is an unending problem.

We have provisions for legal punishment to direct thieves but we have reservations for other types of active personalities because they are the lawmakers and they have also the right to make decisions. They may twist words of law as magicians.

Ultimately, our requirements are cheated and we are deceived. We move two steps ahead and recede one step behind. Thus we are progressing in leaps and bounds. We should express thankfulness to them who are honestly doing their jobs within their limited resources. They are heroes of our time.

We are the intelligent fools that we know many things but we know nothing. We should know that not a single empire having rich history is surviving because of its reasons. It means nothing is permanent. We know neither a king nor a rich person has carried a penny with him on death even then we are mad for money. We know that we may not give assurance to generations to come for wealth or a good living even then we respect money as everything, forgetting relationships, duties and responsibilities. Money can buy many things but not honesty, God and peace. We should not be direct or indirect thieves. We should do good for the development and upliftment of society and nations. Everyone will be happy and comfortable.

All future generations will be grateful to their ancestors for their foresightedness and rituals for the meaning of life. We should encourage noble and imitative practices for the amelioration of social justice. We should be satisfied with minimum requirements to share fare deals with other creatures of nature.  

Position

I will see you. You don’t know, who am I? You will bear the consequences. These are lines, generally heard  during discussions between any authority and someone on roads or in different offices. This reflects the approach of a man and the importance of a post. Such discussions reveal that someone is applying pressure to do the wrong or to get rid off punishment and penalties etc.

Here the question is about the importance of a  man or the post held by the man. It is true that every post has been empowered with rules and regulations, for good governance and importance of post is also as per hierarchy. But lines of threatening are hurdle and instigate corruption and mitigate the importance of rules, regulations and posts. The position held is not permanent and one day, on retirement, all become same in the society. So, the importance exists in post, not in the post holder. As a common man, ones importance is in abiding the rules and regulations. So, our behaviors are most important for respect and the tags of VIP and VVIP are not permanent. Good times do not last too long.

I remember one incident’s happening, during my  journey by train. One of my friends was with me, without proper reservation. He was having an importance of being son – in – law of an officer holding very high post in bureaucracy. Because of that he was feeling comfortable for facing the ticket checker and police. I got a very good lesson to tackle such situations. I witnessed that during discussion, after listening the threat of post and probable actions against him, the police man said ” you may be whatever you say but, at first, I will beat you and ask for an excuse from your relative officer by saying that every one tells your name and try to get favour and it is true, he does know.” My friend paid the fine and got lesson that post is important but with dignity.

Human and humanity should get importance because posts in various departments in governing bodies, are created for giving services to public and rules and regulations are framed for their smooth execution, to ease the life with safety and security. So, everyone is to satisfy importance of each other but no one is above law.

It is ridiculous to think that he is more important. Everyone is important. If we observe, we find that in nature everything is important, from invisible creatures to big mammals, from thorns to flowers,  and from grass to big trees etc. The ecology of nature is balanced because of all and any disturbance may bring havoc.

Human should learn from the best teacher, the nature, about giving place to everyone.
Our attitudes of giving importance are not limited to posts in service but also in every walk of life. Intelligent students get importance in classroom and schools, human get importance in society by comparing wealth, size of house and no of cars and number of servants etc.

There are different yard sticks for defining the importance, every where. Such attitudes are detrimental to the civilisations and empower to do the wrong things and corruptions spread as termites due to misuse of power. Only respect should get priority.

Everything is important. Everyone is important. When almighty has not differentiated, we may not do like this. Every creature is doing respective business and is equally important. We should not be power crazy. Services with serving attitudes should prevail.