I need you

I have the desire.
I have dreams.
I have pain.
I have persuasion.

But I have fear –

to lose,
to leave midway,
to challenges,
to weakness,
to strength,
to satisfaction,
to sink,
to crave more,
to yield.

I need you because –

You give courage.
You are my partner.
You are my companion.
You are my friend.
You are my teacher.
You are my guide.
You are my emotions.

I have a body and a soul. I have fed my body to keep it healthy to meet the worldly affairs, but I have forgotten my soul’s need to be near you my almighty. I am in dire need of you. I have faith in you but am about to face failure. Your faith in me may shatter. I know that you have been behind me in every action. So let me not be down. I want your blessings on the advent of my death. I pray you to be my sailor in this world and be my porter to carry me to your world. My rest is there. My peace is there. My life is there. This world is full of uncertainty and negotiation.

They Laughed

When I smiled at flowers, they laughed.
When I cried at my fault, they laughed.
When I wept on my fate, they laughed.
When I fell because of them, they laughed.
When I slipped due to ignorance, they laughed.
When I missed a chance, they laughed.
When I remembered you, they laughed.
When I excused their faults, they laughed.
When I enjoyed my loneliness, they laughed.
When I shared my views, they laughed.
When I cared about their systems, they laughed.
When I failed in my attempts, they laughed.
When I passed the hurdles, they laughed.
When I changed myself, they laughed.
When I worked for them, they laughed.
When I slept in peace, they laughed.
When I wanted a favour, they laughed.
When I wrote my grievance, they laughed.
When I lost my beloved, they laughed.
When I worshipped my God, they laughed.

They judged me. They commented on me and my feelings. They expressed their attitudes, faith and hate. They killed me in their thoughts.

They have different moralities. They have developed their standards. They are doers. They are decision takers. They are implementors. They are assessors. They govern. They are true by themselves. They have a complex of greatness.

My almighty call me back. I have crossed the tolerance limit given by you. Even you have been defined and limited to their whims. They know how to twist your teachings.

Almighty! may you delimit your existence. I am to live in this world as per your wish, but your existence is at stake. You are being exchanged with their attitudes and dictatorships. Fear of your wrath is their strength. You are like a rubber stamp. You are a seal, taken for granted. They are two-edged swords. You have been divided for their convenience.

Now the question comes – who is supreme? Who is the controller? What is the reality? Who will bell the cat? Only darkness appears to be a distinguished reality. Your light is awaited again. You matter the most.

Me of Mine

I have “me” in myself. This me of mine is the root cause of all types of greed, distress and diseases.

When I was an infant, I was with my mother only. I always wanted to be with her only. She was my world for everything.
She was my life jacket in the world of problems from my first day on this earth. I learned to swim in this oceanic world under the supervision of my mother. She was my heaven. I was only comfortable with her.

   When first time I was sent to school I felt alone. My troubles started with learning the first letter of the alphabet in my mother tongue. I started facing worldly vices. My mother made me acquainted with such affairs and gave me lessons to cope with them.

One day my mother left me alone in this world for her invisible journey to another world. I became an orphan and easy prey to all nuances of society. I turned from good to bad and from bad to worse and worst.  I forgot to control my tongue and master the time for the sake of me. I could not behave like a sieve to be like a sage.

I was always right on the wrong side. Earlier, I had searched for myself in my mother but now without my mother, I had been a demon with harming tendencies. All earlier teachings were futile. I changed as per my needs and became more selfish. I had lost myself in me.

My love for myself had been a curse later in life. I wanted to regret and regain my childhood notions and thoughts. I wanted my mother to be with me again. But this was not possible.

I did not know the history of souls. My mind had a plethora of thoughts like waves in the ocean. I wanted to use my waves for me and for peace in life. I had recalled my mother’s teaching, –  “the new path starts from where you become helpless and confused about life and devote yourself to the almighty. Then he takes care.”

I have surrendered to almighty for his shelter. This time my me is not for myself but for selflessness. My me has submerged into almighty. I have restricted myself to a minimum for living and requirements. My thoughts start with him and end with him – the almighty. My me is for your cause.

Now I am yours. Sorry, I have never asked – ” how are you “? I am pity on myself for losing you. My repentance may please be accepted for me.   

Honeymoon

Ouch, you have orchestral touch. I have heavenly pleasure.
No words, no sound, let the music of silence spread.
No boundaries, no pointed indication, let liberty be enjoyed.
No enticing, no sensation, let me be imbibed.
No memory, no repentance, let me be lost.
No more chance, no revival, let me be forgotten.
No objection, no-obligation, let me be admissible.
No permission, no hesitation, let only be submission.
No feeling, no thrilling, let only be healing.
No sorrow, no joy, let only be happy tears.
No summer, no winter, let only be spring.
No solace, no arrogance, let me be in an embrace.

My almighty, I want to mingle with you to forget my entity. You are the reason for my separation from you. I want to restrict to you but you are the reason for my – me, mine, myself – deviation from you. I want to be your object and you are the reason for my devotion. I want to leave but you are the reason for my continuity.

As I am part of you, I have the remorseless right to have demand to be with you. I have many wishes to be fulfilled by you. I have seen your natural world, turning into an artificial trench, holding supremacy on the pretension of your intentions. You are under unprecedented questions by self-declared Gods on earth. Everything is confusing. You have been interpreted on earth, according to the will of the mighty one. You are the virtual means of threatening, in the name of the creator.

Abstaining from all confusion, I want to be with you, on your honeymoon forever. No relation, no self but the spiritual honeymoon. You dive deep into me for spiritual ecstasy. You see and I will sink. Your breathing is my sensation. Your indication is my message. Your grace is my treasure. Your target is my surrender. All celestial bodies will be our homes. We will fly on clouds with windy wings. Sun and Moon will be our path showers. Stars will illuminate our nights.

You are my limit. All wishes start with you and end with you. Let me revolve around you. I want to be no more.  

The Great ” ZERO “

The beginning and end of ” zero ” may not be known. For anyone, zero is meaningless and has no value. It is used to express the foolishness of someone also. But this zero is very important in the calculation in this materialistic world.  When it is placed after any number, it changes nothing into something. It changes the place value. A number of zeros, together, become stronger to add value. Though the value of zero is none, its circular shape has meaning. Its size has no limit. The finding of the circular wheel, much before the concept of zero came, matched zero’s shape and speeded the development of civilisation from primitive to modern and technologically advanced societies. We may notice the effective importance of the shape of zero that most of the moving or revolving things are circular and follow a circular path.

Zero echoes that nothing is also important and contributes to making the identity of self and others meaningful. We may find such special issues in life especially related to spirituality and society. Most intelligent people have biased notions toward persons of less importance. However, many persons like zero are important to a leading personality and they become useful to someone. They make difference as a part of the crowd. Their potentialities may be channelized to get fruitful results. Sometimes, they are misused or mishandled for self-interests by mischievous elements. They need utmost attention for a proper respectable share in society. The feeling that I am the best should not always neglect the importance of zero in society. This attitude may disintegrate the social structure. We should have zero tolerance for such attitudes. Individuality is very important.

Spiritually, zero is like a sage who gives meaning to other’s life and pervades sanctity. All desires merge into one eternity to be zero in existence. Ultimately, zero encircles all to be within the limit. This has implicit philosophy to live and let live. Zero is always persistent. We originate from zero. We have to merge into zero.

Zero is a force giving meaning everywhere as per need. It may define others, keeping self unaffected. Zero is the root of all activities and thoughts. 

Alone

I am alone, I am all. You are alone, you are many. Are such situations possible? Answer may be or may not be in yes. In this answer “no” word is hidden. Likewise, alone is hidden inside everyone. It has been taught that all that glitter are not gold and  such is the case in human kingdom too. Here, everyone lives with crowd, but remains alone. This is the truth that
everyone comes into existence alone, but is the part of crowd and role may be defined. The word “Alone ” has engulfed the other word ” One ” to be meaningful.

We for the whole life think that we have families, friends and relatives as securities  for rainy days. But we should remember – “all that glitter are not gold”, only mother is gold who is always with us. But she becomes alone at the time of her needs and waits for her gold.

This is the only truth that everyone remains alone and makes crowd for survival. Gold in human kingdom is situation dependent.

This situation has been more aggravated after industrialisation and one has been more alone in self. The doctor diagnoses it as depression and world of sages defines it as journey towards almighty. What is the real good? Every expert has self understood categorisation. But the only truth is that everyone is alone. The more the world is advancing the more the loneliness is spreading. 

Machines are replacing crowd and emotions are being exchanged from artificial intelligence and  Robots are well equipped to entertain.  Besides, rockets are traveling high,  searching additional new abode for humans.  But here on earth, life is settling in old age homes that too alone. These arrangements are ours. Home has been now like hotel, without permanent address.

We see the smiling faces, very often. Read the language of smile on sad face. It reveals helplessness for being alone. I am alone. Who will be next to me. We are missing the music of life. Life is to be tuned in the tunnel, having no end. But one is the beginning and alone is the reality.

I want to be

I want to hate for love,
I want to  check, to  be speedy,
I want to loose, to be suitable,
I want to be rare, to be common,
I hide myself, to cast shadow,
I want to be myself, to be yours,
I want to fill, to be meaningful,
I want to be a gap, to be a way of flow,
I want to shrink, to cover the whole world,
I want to be criticised, to be heard,
I want to be quiet, to be useful stone,
I want to be hated, to be a star of magnet,
I want to be independent, to be restricted,
I want to be famous, to be handled,
I want to be rejected, to be acceptable,
I want to be an entry, to be used,
I want to be part, to be with me,
I want to be silent, to be known,
I want to be real, to be tried,
I want to confine, to be overviewed,
I want to be being, to be into the aggression,
I want to be dark, to be enlightened,
I want to be serious, to be individual,
I want to be gathered, to be distributed.

I want to be, to you my God, without any lust. I want to be secured in this competitive world, my lord. I want Your hand of love as my destiny. I want to be fixed in you, by you for your abode.

God, you sent me with everything, without anything. I wanted to take everything from your world, despite nothing to carry at last. I craved for everything but missed you. I knew much to remind, than to serve others. You loved me but I forgot you. I muse to be good but it is too late. I may be useful in instalments. Who is responsible? I have used you. You are God of all, for all. I want to be poor, to be rich by you.