I, at the end of my last phase of life, need a fairy to solve all my problems, as my mother and grandmother used to tell me in childhood about her unpredictable power. I know since then that she has had ways for all problems. So, I like fairy always every time in a story and want her in life.
Every night, in my childhood, fairy came at least in the story to feed me, to make me strong and to fulfil my wish after my sleep. I always insisted on the story of a fairy cladded in pink dress. All stories of birds and animals were not as effective as that of my favourite fairy’s sayings were.
One day, I was very worried, not willing to eat, because I had observed that all adult members in the family did not listen to fairy’s tales at night. I wanted to know as to how they eat without the story of my pinky fairy. I asked my grandmother for that doubt. She smiled and said that every adult had been having a fairy for the whole day and night after a definite age. They take care of each other for all their needs and share lives. She had, further, told that I would get a fairy after some age in reality.
I enjoyed my childhood with my pinki fairy and at a suitable time, my living fairy, as wife, was given to me with prescribed rituals and responsibilities. That day, I laughed and got the realities of situations.
After marriage, life started with full gusto. In adulthood, my fairy took her bite at her will. She had been satiating me but at what cost? Who did pay the most? I guess both shared equally for good causes of individual but as together, one by two. We divided together to multiply to add to the time that was always tested and gave opportunities for continuity.
My fairy was enticing and giving meaning to my senses to reciprocate the same. The time was stolen by both of us to mesmerise to forget ourselves. My fairy gave directions and purposes to proceed and process the opportunities to be in dreams to realise the emotional consequences for quenching the thirst of time. What I got was of use for a defined duration. After that, I became accustomed to my life’s fairytale.
Later in life, this fairytale was my treasure to smile and relax whenever I felt free to swing the memories of youth. Sometimes, I wanted to ask for pardon on my extremism without considering its repercussions. I was, as per my teasing attitude, a fool but she loved me.
It should have continued till last for both of us. But, one day, without any early warning, my fairy left to another world. I interpreted that she wanted to take sweet revenge from me with her last smile, holding my hands. I was helpless as usual. Her perpetual slumber created a void in my life.
As a companion, she had shown me the path leading to satisfaction from senses to peace in mind to salvation. She had translated my silence into meaningful words and sentences.
Love never ends. I remember my life started from zero. I recall my life started with zero. I know that life will end into zero. I am playing on the tunes of time. How can I forget my living fairy and fairytale? I want her again and again in my dreams as well as in life.
It was a valid question. How long may we go together? She asked. For me ” Why ” was involved in this doubt. So I wanted to know the reason for that question before the beginning of an important phase of life.
She replied that the world is changing fast, so we may also change with the world in time. I smiled to know more. She went on to speak on many examples of having negative impacts and broken lives, full of tears. I agreed for a little but tried to convince her to explore deeply as a social and personal researcher.
We have many types of lives, in one life given and fully controlled by the almighty for duration and extent. In that one life, social responsibilities give this opportunity where two are involved to grow together as one entity to procreate. This life is the main centre surrounded by many types of activities and lives expecting responsibilities. This is a fact where competition should not come in mind to dominate over each other. We should not compromise but cooperate and trust each other for the best results. The natural duties assigned to different genders may not be changed. One may assist or cooperate in such functions.
We are social animals, not like wild animals where most of the duties are responsibilities of females, especially towards children. But such is not the case with us, human beings, as we have developed brains to excel. The moment a relation is given a name, the identity changes with certain terms, as an addition in relation. In your question, this marriage is of this kind.
I agree to accept that society has been very much conservative in this matter towards females, having attitudes mainly restricted to the kitchen and family. Those were the days when education was not in approach of all females and self-reliance was a dream to them. Those conditions began changing when the social revolution started and became successful after a lot of resistance. But still, the plight is not completely over because of male dominating attitudes. Even highly educated males are having such attitudes and their animal instincts dominate occasionally.
Now, after a few generations, the pathetic old conditions of females are changing their course, towards equality and equal terms because of the spread of education among them.
She looked at me differently for more. I continued. Please ignore the doubts and confusion because they kill the future and ruin life. Whatever we are at present, is because of our parents who were not knowing our futures and proceeded in their lives with positive attitudes. We always advance towards an unknown future and our positive attitudes pave the way. Everything will never be smooth and relations are tested in thick and thin. We should always remember that two are better than one to face any situation. One should give inspiration about satisfaction and cooperation. No one is perfect. So more doubt on self’s willpower and control may not bring anticipated results. Yes, there is no doubt that every relationship asks for sacrifice, ignorance, adjustments and tolerance up to a certain extent. The relationship of the mother always demands sacrifice. No one may help you here, beyond a limit because it is above all relationships. Even God needs her.
My views helped her a little. She expressed her doubts because of the unsuccessful marriages of her many friends. She said that most of them are facing court cases. So, she has many doubts. ” Many doubts make someone weak and may lead to loneliness,” I said. You should analyse your confidence before taking a final decision but take lessons from your parent’s life. It is true that relations give rights but brings responsibilities also and life is not like one-way traffic. We should drive carefully. Your words and attitudes play important roles in every relationship. If necessary, one should interfere, otherwise, silence is the best medicine. Honest discussions may bring solutions. If you give a chance someone to be a judge for solutions then one may add fuel to the fire as per his or her interests. Whatever, I have told, is not new but needs refreshments through any means. She smiled a little with a meaningful stare, this time. I thought this is the right time to strike at the right place. I told her that you were too thoughtful to spoil the meaningful life ahead. Moreover, your over consciousness is questioning your self-confidence. Perhaps, you are silently accepting and endorsing the old concepts and traditions related to the conditions of women who were ill-treated, most of the time as slaves. Moreover, educated and self-reliant ladies should take the lead to change the male-dominated society. Rest is in your mind to decide. But one thing, we should never forget that our mothers have made us despite limited liberties. You may also change the world in any circumstance.
Finally, I smiled and said that I could not anticipate your questions to be asked in my old age about future generations, which might have come into existence because of your cooperation and sacrifices. You may not kill God gifted instincts of any gender.
At last, I have a question for you- what will be your reaction if you find out that a girl is proposing to a boy for togetherness in future? You should note in any generation, natural differences in males and females regarding physique, tenderness, nature, functions and responsibilities etc. may never change except in exceptional cases. You may face many such or other types of questions in times to come with more advancements and the spread of education.
This confession brought emotional reactions to her body from tip to toe. She smiled and proceeded on the important future venture in marriage with confidence. I am with her now blessed in madness in life.
I will see you. You don’t know, who am I? You will bear the consequences. These are lines, generally heard during discussions between any authority and someone on roads or in different offices. This reflects the approach of a man and the importance of a post. Such discussions reveal that someone is applying pressure to do the wrong or to get rid off punishment and penalties etc.
Here the question is about the importance of a man or the post held by the man. It is true that every post has been empowered with rules and regulations, for good governance and importance of post is also as per hierarchy. But lines of threatening are hurdle and instigate corruption and mitigate the importance of rules, regulations and posts. The position held is not permanent and one day, on retirement, all become same in the society. So, the importance exists in post, not in the post holder. As a common man, ones importance is in abiding the rules and regulations. So, our behaviors are most important for respect and the tags of VIP and VVIP are not permanent. Good times do not last too long.
I remember one incident’s happening, during my journey by train. One of my friends was with me, without proper reservation. He was having an importance of being son – in – law of an officer holding very high post in bureaucracy. Because of that he was feeling comfortable for facing the ticket checker and police. I got a very good lesson to tackle such situations. I witnessed that during discussion, after listening the threat of post and probable actions against him, the police man said ” you may be whatever you say but, at first, I will beat you and ask for an excuse from your relative officer by saying that every one tells your name and try to get favour and it is true, he does know.” My friend paid the fine and got lesson that post is important but with dignity.
Human and humanity should get importance because posts in various departments in governing bodies, are created for giving services to public and rules and regulations are framed for their smooth execution, to ease the life with safety and security. So, everyone is to satisfy importance of each other but no one is above law.
It is ridiculous to think that he is more important. Everyone is important. If we observe, we find that in nature everything is important, from invisible creatures to big mammals, from thorns to flowers, and from grass to big trees etc. The ecology of nature is balanced because of all and any disturbance may bring havoc.
Human should learn from the best teacher, the nature, about giving place to everyone.
Our attitudes of giving importance are not limited to posts in service but also in every walk of life. Intelligent students get importance in classroom and schools, human get importance in society by comparing wealth, size of house and no of cars and number of servants etc.
There are different yard sticks for defining the importance, every where. Such attitudes are detrimental to the civilisations and empower to do the wrong things and corruptions spread as termites due to misuse of power. Only respect should get priority.
Everything is important. Everyone is important. When almighty has not differentiated, we may not do like this. Every creature is doing respective business and is equally important. We should not be power crazy. Services with serving attitudes should prevail.
Fear has a natural and universal existence. Everyone may fear as if it is a permanent pandemic. The virus of this quality exists in every creature of nature. Perhaps no-one is spared from it.
There may be many types of fear as per the situation and condition. How can one guess, the time of start of any fear and its lasting? There may be descriptions in the concerned subject at length. But for me it starts since birth, related with existence and survival.
We are always in growing stage and fear changes according to expectations of self and society. We always face the challenges of proving self upto the mark.
The great fear may be from childish attitudes to study to delivering results to tolerance to family to social life etc. If you succumb at any time, the ready made judgement of failure or looser will be your trade mark. No one will wait for your explanation until you again prove yourself.
One thing is common for all types of fear that every fear, ultimately, is directed towards one or self.
We always have fear of losing- self, friends, members of family, parents, relatives, health, wealth, near and dear ones and other important things. We may regain health and wealth but loss of persons is not like migratory birds those will come back repeatedly in particular season. It is natural and beyond our control. Such fear may lead to depression and ruin life. Others have consolation and nothing else to share to be useful in formulating strategies to get rid off load.
Fear is not a crime. It may give strength and opportunity to analyze and overcome whatsoever may be, if it does not occupy the gigantic size, to be diagnosed as disease. We know nothing is permanent. We also know there is no limit for maximum. So limit of satisfactions has to be fixed by individual as yardstick. We may overcome worldly fear like that.
If everything is going smoothly and is favorable then fear of maintenance and continuity complicate the things. Hence, it is very difficult to get rid off sense of fear. It will always remain together, in any form, as shadow. We should accept and try to learn its message to be ready for all odds.
We may always have sense of insecurity. So fear will continue till the last breath. Mental strength will make us feel better and more comfortable because fear is part and parcel of life.
If fear is not there, we fear from unseen power. Most of the religious leaders describe it as God’s fear – the most powerful. It has self understood categorisation and trust, to be involved. It is becoming a contagious disease to control.
Best way to say bye bye to fear, may be, to be, what you are, without comparing with others to invite more unwanted trouble and long lasting sense of insecurity. Limit of satisfaction is the best medicine in many cases, to be less fear oriented, because fear does not give safe passage. One day fear becomes source to dare.