CONFUSION-The story for beginning

It was a valid question. How long may we go together? She asked. For me ” Why ” was involved in this doubt. So I wanted to know the reason for that question before the beginning of an important phase of life.
She replied that the world is changing fast, so we may also change with the world in time. I smiled to know more. She went on to speak on many examples of having negative impacts and broken lives, full of tears. I agreed for a little but tried to convince her to explore deeply as a social and personal researcher.

We have many types of lives, in one life given and fully controlled by the almighty for duration and extent. In that one life, social responsibilities give this opportunity where two are involved to grow together as one entity to procreate. This life is the main centre surrounded by many types of activities and lives expecting responsibilities. This is a fact where competition should not come in mind to dominate over each other. We should not compromise but cooperate and trust each other for the best results. The natural duties assigned to different genders may not be changed. One may assist or cooperate in such functions.

We are social animals, not like wild animals where most of the duties are responsibilities of females, especially towards children. But such is not the case with us, human beings, as we have developed brains to excel. The moment a relation is given a name, the identity changes with certain terms, as an addition in relation. In your question, this marriage is of this kind.

I agree to accept that society has been very much conservative in this matter towards females, having attitudes mainly restricted to the kitchen and family. Those were the days when education was not in approach of all females and self-reliance was a dream to them. Those conditions began changing when the social revolution started and became successful after a lot of resistance. But still, the plight is not completely over because of male dominating attitudes. Even highly educated males are having such attitudes and their animal instincts dominate occasionally.

Now, after a few generations, the pathetic old conditions of females are changing their course, towards equality and equal terms because of the spread of education among them.

She looked at me differently for more. I continued. Please ignore the doubts and confusion because they kill the future and ruin life. Whatever we are at present, is because of our parents who were not knowing our futures and proceeded in their lives with positive attitudes. We always advance towards an unknown future and our positive attitudes pave the way. Everything will never be smooth and relations are tested in thick and thin. We should always remember that two are better than one to face any situation. One should give inspiration about satisfaction and cooperation. No one is perfect. So more doubt on self’s willpower and control may not bring anticipated results. Yes, there is no doubt that every relationship asks for sacrifice, ignorance, adjustments and tolerance up to a certain extent. The relationship of the mother always demands sacrifice. No one may help you here, beyond a limit because it is above all relationships. Even God needs her.

My views helped her a little. She expressed her doubts because of the unsuccessful marriages of her many friends. She said that most of them are facing court cases. So, she has many doubts. ” Many doubts make someone weak and may lead to loneliness,” I said. You should analyse your confidence before taking a final decision but take lessons from your parent’s life. It is true that relations give rights but brings responsibilities also and life is not like one-way traffic. We should drive carefully. Your words and attitudes play important roles in every relationship. If necessary, one should interfere, otherwise, silence is the best medicine. Honest discussions may bring solutions. If you give a chance someone to be a judge for solutions then one may add fuel to the fire as per his or her interests. Whatever, I have told, is not new but needs refreshments through any means. She smiled a little with a meaningful stare, this time. I thought this is the right time to strike at the right place. I told her that you were too thoughtful to spoil the meaningful life ahead. Moreover, your over consciousness is questioning your self-confidence. Perhaps, you are silently accepting and endorsing the old concepts and traditions related to the conditions of women who were ill-treated, most of the time as slaves. Moreover, educated and self-reliant ladies should take the lead to change the male-dominated society. Rest is in your mind to decide. But one thing, we should never forget that our mothers have made us despite limited liberties. You may also change the world in any circumstance.

Finally, I smiled and said that I could not anticipate your questions to be asked in my old age about future generations, which might have come into existence because of your cooperation and sacrifices. You may not kill God gifted instincts of any gender.

At last, I have a question for you- what will be your reaction if you find out that a girl is proposing to a boy for togetherness in future? You should note in any generation,  natural differences in males and females regarding physique, tenderness, nature, functions and responsibilities etc. may never change except in exceptional cases. You may face many such or other types of questions in times to come with more advancements and the spread of education.

This confession brought emotional reactions to her body from tip to toe. She smiled and proceeded on the important future venture in marriage with confidence. I am with her now blessed in madness in life.    

Position

I will see you. You don’t know, who am I? You will bear the consequences. These are lines, generally heard  during discussions between any authority and someone on roads or in different offices. This reflects the approach of a man and the importance of a post. Such discussions reveal that someone is applying pressure to do the wrong or to get rid off punishment and penalties etc.

Here the question is about the importance of a  man or the post held by the man. It is true that every post has been empowered with rules and regulations, for good governance and importance of post is also as per hierarchy. But lines of threatening are hurdle and instigate corruption and mitigate the importance of rules, regulations and posts. The position held is not permanent and one day, on retirement, all become same in the society. So, the importance exists in post, not in the post holder. As a common man, ones importance is in abiding the rules and regulations. So, our behaviors are most important for respect and the tags of VIP and VVIP are not permanent. Good times do not last too long.

I remember one incident’s happening, during my  journey by train. One of my friends was with me, without proper reservation. He was having an importance of being son – in – law of an officer holding very high post in bureaucracy. Because of that he was feeling comfortable for facing the ticket checker and police. I got a very good lesson to tackle such situations. I witnessed that during discussion, after listening the threat of post and probable actions against him, the police man said ” you may be whatever you say but, at first, I will beat you and ask for an excuse from your relative officer by saying that every one tells your name and try to get favour and it is true, he does know.” My friend paid the fine and got lesson that post is important but with dignity.

Human and humanity should get importance because posts in various departments in governing bodies, are created for giving services to public and rules and regulations are framed for their smooth execution, to ease the life with safety and security. So, everyone is to satisfy importance of each other but no one is above law.

It is ridiculous to think that he is more important. Everyone is important. If we observe, we find that in nature everything is important, from invisible creatures to big mammals, from thorns to flowers,  and from grass to big trees etc. The ecology of nature is balanced because of all and any disturbance may bring havoc.

Human should learn from the best teacher, the nature, about giving place to everyone.
Our attitudes of giving importance are not limited to posts in service but also in every walk of life. Intelligent students get importance in classroom and schools, human get importance in society by comparing wealth, size of house and no of cars and number of servants etc.

There are different yard sticks for defining the importance, every where. Such attitudes are detrimental to the civilisations and empower to do the wrong things and corruptions spread as termites due to misuse of power. Only respect should get priority.

Everything is important. Everyone is important. When almighty has not differentiated, we may not do like this. Every creature is doing respective business and is equally important. We should not be power crazy. Services with serving attitudes should prevail.

Half truth

Whenever, we attend discussions in any place of substance, we go through a number of quotations and examples of historical incidents related with the topic. Such discussions influence the working and  atmosphere. If it is a gathering of students, then the attitudes change with aspirations to follow the sayings and characters of heroes and leaders etc. Many of them may be applicable and suitable in changing world but the emphasis depends upon the background of personality appealing to do so. If it is matching with personality, everyone considers in positive. Otherwise, the analytical ability of well equipped gentry may ask many questions. So walk the talk is the best way to impeach someone.

We may find, in pre-independent era, the aspirations and actions, in many cases, of public, were controlled by situations, attitudes of surroundings and behaviors of leaders. Public, on appeal of leaders were ready to sacrifice everything, even their lives. Those leaders had lived the lives what they were expecting from others. Many of them had set examples by sacrificing everything for the nation. The same continued in  post-independent era for a few years.

As the time passed and new thinkings started taking birth, aspirations and actions of people  were also influenced and  started changing. International politics and developments, in modern days, in all aspects of life are also added in the list of influencing factors. Besides, competitions, greeds, lust and cheating factors are also taking influencing sizes and need attentions.

In our social structures, it is clear that tender children get affected from surroundings, family traditions, occupation of parents, school, friends and education. When they grow and get matured, the factors, needed to meet livelihoods, play roles in behaviors’ management. These affect nation building activities. The country becomes strong or weak, depends from here on the influences of leaders and their behaviors.

We are finding that we are missing and fighting with all for self. It is a matter of respect if someone walks the talk. If activities of anyone is minutely observed, we may find gap in credibility. So example is better than percept. Such half truths may not have long life. There was a time of less education and less news spreading means. Many of things were hidden. Now, time has changed. All information are available on finger tips across the world. No one may be made fool for long time.

In the interest of nation every new generation should be well taught and sacrifices of our ancestors should be made known from very beginning in schools to make character building. Otherwise, the present may have opposite effects on future of a nation, when the self is dominating in all walks of life.

The education system should be robust and the teachers should be highest paid of all, as they make eligible all for different services in the interest of nation. If teachers and education are neglected, no nation may flourish peacefully and preachers should walk the talk.

Decision

One stitch in time saves nine. It is always advisable to get repaired the leaking roof before onset of monsoon. We may meet odd challenges due to anticipation and timely taken decisions.

Every part of a body works smoothly, coordinating each other and any disbalance is indicated in the form of problems so that timely curable measures  may be taken by the owner of body. Otherwise, ignoring that, disease may silently develop and may not be cured. This is applicable everyday, everywhere, where coordinated approaches are necessities, be it a family or industry or office.

In the industrialised world mechanisation and artificial intelligence along with robots are easing execution of works in a concerted coordination. But the final decisions are to be taken by humans. However,  brain may not be replaced by any invention or discovery. We may not be slave in such world, lest another political systems should develop. Perhaps racism, caste systems and religious rivalries may stall in that world with different views. Even then, brain is supreme and may not be replaced.

Humans have reached at this level of integrity after many trial and error, so final decision will always be their responsibilities, despite use of other accessories as assistance to brain’s decisions.

The scenario in the world is changing every moment. We are now more inter dependent for growth and developments. In this regard, rules and regulations are dynamic and need consideration and continuous analysis in the interest of respective country. Everyone knows weakness and strength of each other. So, now a days, rapid and accurate decisions are required in every system of a nation. Even the tiny unit has to be taken care of during decisions. Every nut and bolt play role in a vehicle. Any negligence may not be appreciable. Planning and foresightedness are required continuously.

Decision making is complicated process on large scale and needs amalgamation of various subjects. It may be influenced by affinity and by biasness specially where large number of humans are involved. Self interest should not be entertained. Biasness may cost in loosing the best brains. Many conspiracies and secrets are being  unveiled where biasness, self interest or family members are involved in influencing decisions, harmful to the nation. Utmost care with open eyes and ears are required.

We may be successful in every field. Nations may flourish at the cost of others. But humanity should not be endangered. Certain problems should be fought together, hand in hand. Natural problems, for instance, are affecting the globe and need attention. If nations do not timely activate themselves then be ready to pay the price,  destined by the almighty. Take care or play your duffle. Let the humanity perish or save. Decisions are required.

Any nation may be strong and powerful on certain yardstick but may never challenge nature. One may deal alone, natural problem of small extent only. Present continuing pandemic, in different waves, is the example of our limitations and helplessness. Nature has no boundaries and does not distinguish among races or religions. United we stand, divided we fall.

Decisions should be for humanity, peace and all with self identity. Every nation should be careful, as every nation is sailing in the same boat as far as nature is concerned.