Human-made life cycle- a story

I was indebted to time to face the changes in my life. I was accepting the truth of life that day when my only son was to leave for abroad after attending the last rites of my wife, who was with me for about a golden jubilee period. He knew that I would be alone in that mere house, which was a sweet home because of his mother, so he emphasised me to be careful regarding diet and health. I knew that my bird had flown forever with the memory of the past.

I had a memory of three generations, sufficient to recall – my childhood with grandparents and parents and life with a devoted wife who was in the photo then, leaving me alone. She had broken her promise to be with me forever to take a last breath together. It was not in our control and time again proved to be a strong ruler.

We had been married at the time when the country was taking strides towards growth and development, to be at par with other developed countries. In those days, a boy, either having a government job or remarkable ancestral properties, was considered suitable for marriage. She came into my life because of my job. We played the music of time together and wrote many memorable chapters for ancestors and self. One day, she wrote a beautiful living chapter to add one baby to the new generation, endangering her life, to be complete to pay the debts of our forefathers.

Time was not waiting for anyone or anything. But many things were changing and many old concepts had paved the way for new thinking, controlled by the outcomes of developments. We were also affected. Those villages, where we grew up and saw less selfishness in relationships, appeared to be unattractive, unhealthy, and backwards, as compared to growing cities. We visited our villages on certain occasions to complete rituals but decided to restrict ourselves to cities for the sake of our son, and better education and infrastructure. My parents never lived with us for a long time due to the village’s attraction and we could not leave the city because of our son’s better future. My parents, one by one, left the world forever for the unseen world and our joint family disintegrated into a nuclear family. All brothers and sisters were scattered in the country in pursuit of a better life and the village’s population had declined. We all met occasionally. Our children could not get time to mingle and they became unknown to each other. Our interests, with the passage of time, became detrimental to many established thoughts and we tried to be part of the show business of society.

We were developing. The wheel of progress was moving. The self-contained time passed at the same pace. One day, our son got admission, in the desired subject, to the top-ranking institute in the country. He left the home for his wings to fly. I got a promotion in my job with more responsibilities and less time for my family. The son was away. I was involved mostly both in the office and at home, paying the price of the job responsibilities. My wife, who had her life for us, became alone in that big home, which was her heaven. She became silent. Her smile was occasional. One day, she lost all hopes to be together again when our son declared his decision to go abroad for a lucrative job. We tried to convince him to stay in the country but he became prey to the brain drain.

History repeated the self. Our son had left the country for a good job. I had left my village for the city for a better pasture. We both had the same attitudes but in different ways. We, barring our parents, became part of the crowd. The development and desire to excel consumed relations. The stories were the same but the scene was affected differently. We were in the nearby city to our village and could go regularly to meet our parents but, in our case, that was not possible. That condition affected my wife the most. It was aggravated by my job’s condition. It had not permitted me more time for family, as if the company was fully dependent on me. My wife became very alone, only active to complete her duties for me. She became very silent.

My home had been a hotel for me and she had been a statue. One day, I analysed my financial needs and decided to leave the job for ourselves. But my request was rejected by the authorities. Even my application for leave was not accepted. I could not give more time to her. One day, her condition deteriorated and she was hospitalised for treatment. All symptoms were related to her anxieties. I knew the reason and called the son to be with her for some days. She recovered fast and I got my wife back in normal condition.

I asked, rather than requesting my son to continue here forever, for his mother. But he logically and diplomatically expressed his helplessness. Once again, history repeated itself when he told that we settled in the city due to a lack of basic needs related to infrastructure. That was also applicable in his case on a larger scale. He recalled the memory of difficulties in getting the work done in various offices. There were no facilities as compared to his present country of stay. I smiled to know the change in attitude. He said that he had seen venomous political debates on channels of TV, wherein everyone tried to be right, dividing the society on various grounds and having strategies for the growth of the country. Most of them had changed political parties many times. Their principles had changed for getting tickets in elections. People did not have traffic sense and respect for children and aged persons on the roads. Ease of living norms was not present even after so many years.

I could not admire his analysis. I guessed that his stay was not possible because of his experiences in a new country. I took a chance to convince him. I recalled the thinking and analytical potentials of our ancestors and valuable literature, full of findings, related to all walks of life from nature to the universe to the almighty, given to the world. Those were useful in the present day also. Because of those abilities, we had the qualities to excel. When opportunities knocked, we grabbed them but other countries were using us in the form of a brain drain, alluring us, as the money mattered and facilities attracted. We had many things to give to the world as a family. Everyone is looking towards our country for peace and cultural richness. You might be missing there in a new country.

I accepted his denial to continue as the fate and destiny of my wife. We, as parents, blessed him with a bright life ahead. I had seen waves deep in the eyes of my wife while kissing the head of her son. She missed him a lot. I took voluntary retirement after continuous persuasion to look after her. We had a memory as treasures.

The success of our son in life had bought pleasure and recognition in society. We were judged as the best parents. We had seen proud moments and now we were facing problems. After a few years, my wife left me alone. She, at the last time, was seeing towards the door, waiting for her son. Her son came to attend her last rites, but he was worried about me. I was thankful for his concern but he could not continue in this country. I was not having hope anymore.

After his departure, I enquired in many institutions and old age homes about my stay for the rest of my life. I realised, for the first time, the plights of old people in society. In our youth phase, I gave priority to hay days and forgot about doomsday. I was alone with many problems. Developments took their toll. I felt that life was not financial management controlled by fund managers but it needed a highly devoted service manager. Money in the bank’s account chided me. I assumed the conditions of my parents, the last time when I had become a parent.

FACTS

Everyone knows that status is not permanent. Who will not accept that position or condition may not change? It is also known that time is not multiplied. All such facts we know but in reality, we forget them and repent later on facing the situation. The almighty evolved the life in animal kingdom up to the highest level of humans with developed brains but without languages. The only common language controlled by nerves, continuing in humans everywhere, might be then in existence. All good or bad happenings and habits of the present day are the results of the experiences and needs of humans, faced in course of growth and development.

Human civilization has seen changes from the stone age to the present age of scientific achievements. The changes have been witnessed from mega-sized machines to smaller to nono machines. Developments have been made in many fields. Humans have started exploring planetary bodies and the universe. The weapons have changed from stones of the stone age to modern-day sophisticated weapons. Since then, enemies have changed from visible to invisible types affecting everyone. Most of the changes have been recorded in black and white.

It is also a fact that every new generation has the opportunity to reap the benefits of earlier generations’ developments and achievements without experiencing the efforts made and challenges faced.

One of the facts, I think to be true is the controlling age factor and old age in humans are meant for reviewing life and educating the present generation from their experiences. This age of mine has met a minimum of three generations.
We have seen the maximum changes in social bindings from the combined family to the nuclear family, from cooperative to self-centred attitudes- a deviation from share and care culture.

I remember one incident when I had joined service in a government office where I met the father of my friend. He told about his emotions after receiving his first salary in service. He had spent his salary on the purchase of clothing for his parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. I was surprised to note his feelings because I had sent only half of my salary to my parents. My grandfather had given all his income to his mother every month.

Now, I have grown older and am on the verge of retirement and the new generation is joining the office. I have been surprised to note that most of them purchased costly cell phones from their first salary to show their status without considering the situation of families and moral duties. The new generation has seen from copy to computer and from pen to e-system directly in one go. The earlier employees used to go to their parental houses to reside after retirement. Later, comfort played a role and settlement started in cities. Now the service opportunities are centred in a few places and the concept of ancestor houses is vanishing fast for a new generation.

These changes have mostly affected the old aged persons who have time but no one to share their experiences and expertise of life. When I was in my fifties, I was relaxed, as my father was my advisor and guide for all problems and my mother’s affectionate touch and love were my heavens. I always remained a child for them and enjoyed their experiences. One thing I remember is that in their last days they were like children having short memories and stubborn habits. I became their guardian for them till their departure from this opportunistic world. Now the question is what about me? I have a vacuum. I know the silent, unknown and sad departure of one of my friends because his sons were unable to come to meet him in his dying days. His whole life he had been praising the achievements of his sons for his status in society. We could know about his departure when his body was lying in a closed house, crying for disposal with a foul smell. All statuses proved futile last time without any social security. I am also sailing in the same boat and am worried. I think local common residences or well-managed old age homes may be promising for all aged persons.

Now, the effects of changes are as such that the new generation is not having time for themselves or family. This generation is getting treated as machines in professional life. This generation is mainly active on social media for information, time-consuming likes or comments and relationships after working time. The relations are nearer at the fingertips of gadgets but are emotionally far away due to distress and competition to prove to be excellent and exceptional. Life has been marketed to introduce the best product leading to psychological problems. Their slogan is that this life will not be met a second time, so enjoy it. There should be a new methodology to work free of distress to keep humanity alive. This generation is very sensitive and well-equipped to have an identity.

All problems have not gathered in one generation. We are expecting too much from the new generation without a proper education system and syllabus etc. We are harping on the same string for a long time. We need introspection for the new generation which is more career oriented and wants to be independent of duties towards older generations for lack of ” me time ” and costly lifestyle. We may not make every new generation scapegoat for our faults in teaching them moral, social and spiritual, etc. values and the importance of united families. It is our responsibility for the new world given to the new generation.

Besides, I have seen many changes after the economic revolution, in this one life. We have done more harm than good to ourselves through uncontrolled developments for supremacy. We have maximum adversely affected environments both surrounding and natural. We have seen the extinction of many species of birds and animals. Effects on seasons are also causing more harm to humans through erratic behaviours.

Nothing is permanent. Nature has been revealed through evolution and selection. The fittest always survive. It is the open secret of nature. It is now our turn to cautiously evaluate the progress-related activities for humans’ comfortable existence and sustainability. Otherwise, transformations may be heinous to civilization.

We should observe that nature has distributed all her resources throughout the globe, perhaps with the definite intention of evolving cooperation among all humans, besides geographical differences, for survival and existence. We are witnessing, after the division of land and ocean as properties of different nations that no nation is self-sufficient to survive alone and needs cooperation. We should have progressive scientific thinking to excel.

We have changed. We are changing at our cost.

Checking

As we grow, the tendency of checking develops, and as such that it becomes a habit in long run. It starts from a safety point of view and finally becomes unchecked, in nature. In childhood, everything remains good until a child gains strength and starts using two legs to take the first step to tread the world. The child becomes like a vehicle without brakes. The first step is always encouraged and admired by all. But the moment a child starts using the brain to think and expresses curiosity to learn and touch because everything is new, unknown and amazing, the checking starts. For a child, rope and snake are the same. A child gets attention and parents become over-conscious about the security of the child and the loss of valuable materials. It is ensured that all things should be beyond the reach of a child. Though the intention is very clear that the child may touch, engulf, get hurt and damage things, attention gets top priority. But this habit of continuous checking has psychological effects on a child in the overall development and gives mostly negative results. The situation becomes worse when a caretaker is posted for this purpose for a child because the effects of checking may be multiplied as the appointee may become extra conscious of the secured self’s service. Ultimately, because of this, the interest of the child is not properly developed. We should enjoy childhood by reasonably checking, what we don’t remember due to forgetting. They should be treated friendly to prepare for the changing world.

Children are always children. They need directions and channelling of vibrant energy along with checking for their benefits. Let them be children till they start learning worldly vices.

Such encounter with checking in the name of prohibitions from the beginning of life in day-to-day work becomes a habit when we grow. We face in life more checkings than permissions in the name of society, moralities, discipline, religions, status and culture etc.

The method of checkings may be different at different places but the aim is the same everywhere- safety, security discipline and good governance etc. – to live and let live. In checking, the law of the land is supreme and for that different departments with defined responsibilities in government offices, legal courts and vigilant agencies are established.

Apart from these, there is moral policing of social contractors, checking social life and morality, according to age-old traditions. They go to any extent in the name of cleaning society. One step ahead, religious preachers and teachers impose their checking norms on the respective communities to strictly stick to laid down rules without fail. They have their concepts developed and concluded from the prevailing thoughts of religion to hold supremacy in society. They may define every single word of religious books to check and inculcate the community. They may go to any extent in this regard, in the name of competition with each other to influence and make new followers to satiate their thirst to impose restrictions on all, in the name of heaven and God.

Sometimes, these moral policing and religious thinking are playing roles of checking above the law of land and are used by political parties to grab the seats to form a government. They add fuel to the fire. This type of stringent checking is a serious threat to unforeseen consequences in future, where self will be above nation and law.

We may not reach on conclusion in the name of liberty that checking should not be there at any stage. But we should understand that we are not wild animals and the law of the jungle ( forest ) may not be allowed in civil society. Otherwise, life will be hell and we will be worse than animals with developed brains. Civic sense should prevail.

Checking is the essential devil for certain essential requirements for all without distinction, based on age, caste, creed, community and religion. Hardliners must be checked at every stage and place for the sake of humanity, social justice, peace, growth and security of the nation.

Checking pervert thinking and teaching must draw attention before they pollute the whole system. We should check before declaring OK for all concerned.

CHILD IN SEPARATION- A Story

Am I a broken soul? Do I have an entity? Why do you not break the news related to me, as breaking news, showing for many hours on your TV channels?

Such were dialogues in a stage drama in which a boy was pleading before the judge on the fates of children facing the separation of parents because of the so-called heinous divorce. It was that part of the drama in which the boy was to choose one between his father and mother to live with after their separation.

The boy was fully prepared to open his plights of life. These were social and psychological problems. The boy told with full emphasis, ” he is a living gender in the world of so-called civilized society. He should not be treated as a commodity meant for sale to one person only. He has a soul that is on the earth because of two souls who have decided to increase their family – my parents. I am not ready to miss any of them naturally or unnaturally. My mother is like earth to me, and my father is like a mentor to show me the world. I want both of them for my growth, development and sustainability.

I am a witness to the heydays of my parents’ lives. I may not accept them separately because I am not a culprit, if their attitudes change toward each other later in life, I should not bear the brunt. As a child, I have my dreams to be in life. My future is related to both of them. I need their guidance, support, and togetherness for every moment.

My parents are the judges who have decided to bring me to life. Now, I should be given the right to decide their separation which I never accept because of their changing attitudes. I do not want to be like a helpless and hopeless boy who does wait for a predetermined particular day and time to meet one of the parents having a tag of divorcees. I do not want the part-time love of my parents. I do not want to be seen in society with pity. I know a few friends facing such situations. They are having many problems, especially psychological ones dealing with day-to-day work. Even classmates and friends change their views towards a child like me while talking. I do not want to be distinguished like that. If the father or mother remarriages, the condition of the stepchild becomes more pathetic. The condition of a girl child, who is supposed to have lion’s share to carry forward all the stigma of family, religion, traditions and society, is worse in this situation.

In my view, no parents should be allowed, in any condition, to be separated if they bear a child. Their relationship should not affect the future of a child. I know nowadays, due to social changes and so many opportunities present, parenting is also changing but the ultimate sufferers are children. These are taking a toll on children. Such persons who want to marry and also want to be parents in the future are supposed to be mature enough to know their responsibilities in life. A child who witnesses their affection and well-thought approach should not be a victim in the future, in their lives, if any kind of problem arises. I am not a child of an animal. I need to fight differently for existence in the changing world and I have to learn from and live with my parents.

Our society does not have any system to tackle such children. A child like me is also the future of a nation. I want to be a doctor. Who will bear my expenses for the same? A projected cost of studies, in case of no solution and ultimate separation, should be deposited or otherwise in the direction of a respectable Court, with direction to the automatic, timely release of funds to the concerned child like me. A third party under the full supervision of the court should be given the onus to look after such children. I do not want to go to any orphanage or shelter homes where situations may not be congenial, as I have read about many unhappy incidents in such dwellings in news. I am supposed to be the best but I do not want to be the definite worst.

I should not be prey to the unnoticed reasons that culminate later in the married life of my parents. This is not the judgement that is on my price. This is a kind of death warrant for my life in the world that judges everyone on its standard. No child is ready for this. I may not talk to God but I may tell my mind here in this world. I am not the only sufferer; society is to suffer also and bear the consequences of this human-made crime. Psychological and social studies, on children like me, are of no use if not giving lessons or redressal to stop such venomous acts.

Finally, I think that this story may be repeated in a second marriage. Then again, a child may face the same situation.

At last, I want to live with both of them so my parents should be punished to live together forever in life or till I become able and become independent. I am positive in the hope that I will be the reason for the revival of their togetherness.”

The message in the drama was very clear to settle the differences in married life in view of the future of children.

Hasty decisions should be avoided and separation should be last to come to mind with the closure of all options to be under one roof. Moreover, decisions at every step in life, mainly after marriage, should be well thought out, discussed and analyzed to avoid future problems, especially those related to children. The future of a child should be ensured until he or she becomes independent.

My Experience with Truth

I have had alarming experiences, in many aspects of life, with my growth in age and growing needs. But my experience with truth has a special place because it was compromising with the situation, despite having respect for morality. I have regrets for me revealing the facts that I have compelled myself many times to get the favour from virtual truth, in fact, the untruth.

I have followed the concept of flexibility according to convenience to fit into the so-called congenial atmosphere to abstain from falling into oblivion. Perhaps this concept is true for every field of work. Even path showing, knowledge imparting education system is not spared. That system of education which started in childhood at home has always emphasized following the right path of truth for happiness and generosity for society.

I am in my sixties but still remember the truth of the time when I was taught to understand and speak the language with my childish, entertaining, and joy-giving smile and imitating styles. I learned a lot depending on my retaining mental ability. Everything I interacted with and encountered during that time appeared to be true to me. The story of tortoise and rabbit was lesson-giving. The fairy tales and stars in the sky attracted me the most. I always waited for the magic to happen anywhere. Every day I got truth in various forms but the most valuable truth was my mother, always with me, forever for me. I still remember the day when I was sent to school to start earning certificates to be eligible to serve the country, my mother was with me in my comfort zone.

In my early days at school, my fabrication of the truth of home education started getting modified and I tried to adjust to a new environment. My mother waiting for me at the door and preparing my favourite dishes was my shadow on those difficult days. At last, I understood that all religions have the same principles for truth but for survival it was changed by us for situational practicability.

I have learned a lot from my mother’s views. Later both in student life and service life, I found two faces of truth, one hiding the other for benefit. Both appeared to be essential in day-to-day problems and dealings. Alas! the real truth got less volume in time and space. I could easily recognize victims of real truth followers, having a place in a dilapidated corner of the building, holding the high flag of satisfaction and peace. A ray of hope that truth always prevails in every situation, was witnessed many times with such victims. When one day any pious man noticed and recognized their values and importance then they were rescued and got the relevant status.

I have no hesitation in accepting that I have seen the flourishing candidates in all walks of life having upper hands due to their positions and relationships with men made extraordinary VIPs and following immoral, unlawful and unacceptable practices. But in the end real, defined, truth prevailed and the sufferer smiled. Those places where joy-giving sounds of untruth were entertained by masters and family members, ultimately succumbed to their truth and got ruined by the powerful time. There is a delay in his ( almighty ) house but injustice is intolerable. God’s mill grinds slowly but surely.

I have in my memory many examples of rising and falling in a single generation both in student and service lives. Such situations prevailed in past, are prevailing in present and will continue in the future also. I may give many examples from my experiences where truth ultimately won.

I, since my childhood, have been inspired by the story of a fairy tale- cinderella and always waited for such an incident to happen in respect of truth for its spread and acceptance the world over, for peace, love and sustainability.

I know the truth always prevails, I am sure it will always remain. It is in nature’s law of survival of the fittest. It is in the universe for the origin and existence of life on earth. It is in my thoughts. It is a string of untrue events being followed in all fields to excel and it breaks to expose as an eye opener for access to truth.

Truth is as important as breathing.
Truth is the worship of God. Truth hides but never sinks. Truth is a tool to distinguish between love and sorrow. Truth has to prevail for all. Truth is an individual’s habit. I have never searched for truth in fair weather friends and relatives. I am indebted to my mother for truth and its necessity. I am continuing to be with her in memory and experience.

The real truth may never change with technological advancements. Truth is a true inspiring tool to bring heaven on earth.

ASSESSMENT

We are assessed at every stage in life from very childhood in terms of colour, height, health, physique, features, education, profession, behaviours, status, and many other qualities. Assessment is a process for the betterment of the concerned one. But this may not always be acceptable and true when humans are involved. We may find that in many cases of assessments in offices where bosses are all in all and assessments are targeted.

Assessment is a good process but the procedure followed for that differs in various working places of importance. In schools, the performance of students in board exams is the criteria for the assessment of teachers. It is acceptable as the futures of students and country are mainly dependent on good quality education. Professional institutions are assessed by students, parents, guardians and employers etc in terms of quality of education, fame, acceptability and employability etc. But the same is not the truth in the case of official assessment. There are certain criteria fixed for such assessment. This system is doing more harm than good. There may be an assessment at various levels before the conclusion. But it solely depends on the views of bosses. The most acceptable thought that the boss is always right, prevails in every office. That is the main criteria and other norms that are secondary for this job, affecting the careers of employees. The mood of the boss and the loyalty of employees toward the boss and his or her family play important roles in such a system. Even the dog of the boss plays a role. If someone is a relative or has good family relations with the boss, he or she has the upper hand over others. It is also found that an employee who has been judged excellent by one boss becomes average under another boss. If we research this system of assessment being termed as CR (Confidential report) in the official culture we may find many examples of ill assessment. This is also an astonishing secret to know as to how the assessment changes at different levels for the same employee and an excellent grade given by the immediate boss appears to be meaningless. Thus assessment may not be real and unbiased every time.

Sometimes, we may find the influence of affinity to the same discipline in such assessment. It is true in many cases where performance is linked with incentives. This system may allow the undeserving candidates to rise to the highest post, affecting the entire working culture. In this system, we may listen highest degree of praises delivered, even a comparison of the boss with the life-giving Sun from the universe.

This existing system is a deterrent to the efficiency and promotion of real, technically sound, good and honest workers and also affects the growth and achievements of the company. Negativity in the official atmosphere pervades and detaches from work. This, in turn, changes the working culture of devoted, enthusiastic, energetic workers into a depressed, time-passing, boring workforce. We may find that good workers are leaving organizations for better pasture.

In this system, the ultimate sufferers are the country’s progress and the citizens as this system is not flawless. So this system needs continuous evaluation with the progress of technologies and education in society. We should hammer on the right place for remedy and that is in the selection of a right and capable boss. The seniority in the hierarchy may not only be a criterion but also should have good records of achieving the goals of the office. The assessment of the boss may be linked with the performance of subordinates and feedback, as is the case in the education system. We should not forget that selection of candidates is made through very arduous processes and a single boss having vested interests in self may not be allowed to question the selection process by mere whimsical assessment, instead, the boss should be updated on the importance of subordinates in changing world. We should emphasize the hierarchy of ideas and not the fear of the boss for the performance of the individual.

Such types of assessments may be witnessed in many fields of life. We may get both sufferers and gainers. But the best continuous assessment is being done by the almighty and that is the final. He is the supreme who gives incentives, based on our actions. One human may not assess another human with limited thinking capacity, but he, the creator and controller of the universe can. We should wait for his assessment.    

Departure – A story for compromise

Where have we reached? Which direction are we going? Have we expected this? I was with my oldest friend. We started our lives together on this earth on the same date in the same village. What a miracle we are together since then – in school, in service and after retirement. So we are one soul. We know each other better than our parents.

God has given us full support with his blessings. But at the last stage of life, my friend is very disturbed because of his granddaughter. She was good in health and wealth but her married life’s conditions took the shelter of court for friendly separation after three years of married life. He was perturbed. Whatever was earlier considered unacceptable, is happening friendly nowadays. No one wants to compromise or tolerate odds. Why should only I? This question is worse than hell. In our time society, relatives and family members could not tolerate or accept such thinking. Marriage means, being together forever. It is made in heaven. But, now it has a different approach. My life is mine. My decision is for my welfare. My and I are first. My family and your family or many other factors are also playing roles.

All changes in the thinking and society took full review in our minds. We were happy and together in paucity.  Now, our limitations appeared lovely. We had roots intact and love to love all. Our homes were first on the priority list. Our expectations and anticipations were close-knit with family, friends and society. 

We accept that women have been the worst sufferers due to full dependency on males in the family.  We had realised it in our lives at early stages. We had seen restrictions on girl students – no more movements, no liberty, limited education and full obedience. We had read about many improvements but problems were there because of a lack of education and independence. We had realised the position of women in villages and encouraged our daughters to get full education for independence.

We accept that our daughters took care of their daughters and our granddaughters are financially independent, ready to take decisions and courageous to face problems. They are doing better and giving messages to be educated. They have taken the opportunities.

We are both friends and have witnessed developments and growth in resources of education and support to girls to be free of plights seen by their predecessors. But a new type of problem differentiating villages and cities in regards to the availability of essential facilities has taken place. Villagers went to cities, though living in miserable situations there, did not want to return to their native places. Old people from the village may not live with their sons and relatives in the city because of outsiders’ feelings, restrictions and lack of a healthy climate etc.

Everyone in the village was having a relationship, and helping attitude during thick and thin. They were one. They had news of all. These things are missing in cities. Most of the population migrated from villages, like leaves separated from original trees and flying with the mercy of the wind. So, the history of many families is not known in the city. But in villages, such is not the case of missing family history. These all help in making discussions and taking decisions. It is very informative for an institution like marriage. It is somewhat missing in cities. Most of the marriages are solemnised only on discussions between the two aspirants or through matrimonial sites where the roles of elders in the family are to agree only. After marriages, in most cases, turmoil starts because of a lack of submission, compromise, healthy dialogue and huge differences in views. Besides these financial matters, male dominating ego, financial independence of females and family’s interference on both sides are also aggravating the relationships. Then the roles of courts for separations and freedom from misery come.

My oldest friend’s granddaughter was also prey to all such nuances and the matter was in court for friendly separation. But separation is always harmful and should not be encouraged. Two families lose good time, money, and healthy society structures. The children of such families suffer the most. My friend was very upset about the deteriorating values of life. We are the example to foreigners of centuries-old family values and cultures. They are adopting our values and we are accepting their ” use and throw ” lifestyles. What a pity? 

My friend was weeping and I could only console him. We could only help each other. We know that the reasons may be many but education has to control the mind and thinking. In the education system, another English system is playing a role? Perhaps, we may never see daughter-in-law, mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law together to retain the traditions and culture. No doubt, everyone matters but compromise may not be ruled out. We compromise at every place – education, working places, and otherwise. But we do not want to compromise on the most important aspect of life. Why? The ego of being male or female?

Earlier we had come across a case where the husband was jailed for mischief in married life, but compromise got a place after discussion and the couple is living together. Ugly separation should be the last option.

My friend said no one may be perfect with all qualities but live together with all odds, with willpower. Arguments and differences are spices in life. Now life is not easy. It is full of tension, leading to depression. Psychological problems and monetary situations are playing roles in life. We know the repercussions of fiscal positions in behaviours. We in the village face it but have the satisfaction of not purchasing everything from the market for living and meeting both ends. Most of us have our own house and produce our items for food. We live with limited resources. But in the city where payment has to be made for everything, fiscal conditions affect life and such situations may arise if there are differences in views of life in marriage. During the economic recession, we found the end of many families in many countries due to the bankruptcy of many industries and fiscal institutions etc. Such separation was rampant.

My friend became more serious and said we should take care of the future from the very beginning of service because in this world money matters more than relationships. It may bring peace at every stage of life. It may stop separation on any basis. We have travelled from the combined to the nuclear family stage. No one is ready to sacrifice for life. Growth in a career in service is more important than family. Even children are considered a hurdle in life. Is it life where no one is to share or cheer emotions of life? We are becoming a machine. Now, education on our social and moral values is a must to avoid such separations.

I agreed with my friend but not completely. This difference is the basis of our friendship. We fight but discuss the reasons for the fight. We never forget our smiles.

MOTIVATION

We have the capacity to cite many words and sentences for motivation among listeners. We may tell stories from religious preaching and may quote successful people from different fields in the world. These may ignite in your mind but you will bear all consequences of your journey from the time when you loose your dream for the sake of your life and society, in turn affecting your name and fame. You have to carry on with cautions because one thing good for someone may not be suitable for you. One has to have emotions for filtration of such thoughts for self.

We have many schools of thought categorized mainly as two schools, one in favour and another in opposition. There may also be a third category as neutral. But in actuality, it has under current and is deciding factor. It has to incline any side for survival. So it is virtual for safety measures. This category is like the elephant who has two sets of teeth – one to show off and the other to chew with.

Accordingly, motivational speech may be classified but all with one common quality inculcating results. In modern times, this is true for both, meant for terrorism and good causes. They may change their mind and thinking, resulting in a good, positive, and encouraging environment or negative, devastating, harmful, and dreadful activities in the societies.

A motivational speech is necessary for satiating the hunger of both the mind and belly. The hunger of the belly may even change faith for needs. This is a basic requirement for survival. Anyone may motivate a fragile hungry man for own interest. Most of the negative motivational speeches hammer on this need. They express sympathy and mention reasons for plights from their standpoint. They show a journey towards upliftments, comforts, and superiority and even to heaven if someone follows them. At present days, most countries are covertly supporting such motivations for political, economic, and religious mileage.

However, the hunger of the brain may be of different types, depending upon many aspects. It may be aspirational, emotional, professional and situational, etc. Motivational speech for this must be to remind the strength and capability, to awaken the sleeping emotions with positivity and eradicate depression.
Spirituality also needs proper attention for positivity. We may not ignore this aspect of life.

Excellence in one field is always better but lacking in other fields may not bring satisfaction in life. Whatever the way of motivation, it should be for emanating the best from the concerned and for the overall growth of every aspect of life and maintaining the social bindings, moralities, traditions, humanities and spirituality.

The last lesson of motivation should be about paying back to society to whom everyone is indebted. It is found in our old pattern of teaching that during Gurukul’s time students were educated about all aspects of life and society- knowledge, administration, economics, moral values, spirituality, behaviour, etc. At last responsibilities towards society, nature and nation were also taught.

The modern education system is based on grading patterns of the achievements of students, lacking knowledge and practical approach. It is like cramming, copying, writing and forgetting in the next class. A few teachers only entertain their written notes in examinations as such for grading and checking the analytical power of students. Motivational stories may get seldom space in such a system. At last, we blame the younger generation for devaluation in social life, knowledge, and elsewhere.

In life, responsibility is enhanced as per position and growth. Everyone at every stage and every position in any field need the motivation to excel. Motivation may be situational but is important. It excites, ignites, instigates, guides and encourages the betterment in all situations where you become helpless with your plight and your life. It may be very psychological as we get a great example in Sanatan Dharma’s holy book “Ramayan” where Hanuman Ji was reminded of his hidden strength to cross the vast ocean and he had done it for a pious cause. This is the motivation to explore the inner strength by self through the reminder of someone. Impossible may be possible for a good cause.

Motivation, nowadays, has become essential because of many complicated, interrelated issues mainly pressure to excel, financial problems, depression, cut-throat competition, etc. Where medicine and knowledge have limited effects, motivation may act as an energizer.

Concentration,  positive thinking,  satisfaction, spirituality, etc. are requirements of good results-oriented successful life of someone. It is better to motivate towards an approach that life is personal but it affects all and is meant for all in society. Many problems may be solved.         

CONFUSION-The story for beginning

It was a valid question. How long may we go together? She asked. For me ” Why ” was involved in this doubt. So I wanted to know the reason for that question before the beginning of an important phase of life.
She replied that the world is changing fast, so we may also change with the world in time. I smiled to know more. She went on to speak on many examples of having negative impacts and broken lives, full of tears. I agreed for a little but tried to convince her to explore deeply as a social and personal researcher.

We have many types of lives, in one life given and fully controlled by the almighty for duration and extent. In that one life, social responsibilities give this opportunity where two are involved to grow together as one entity to procreate. This life is the main centre surrounded by many types of activities and lives expecting responsibilities. This is a fact where competition should not come in mind to dominate over each other. We should not compromise but cooperate and trust each other for the best results. The natural duties assigned to different genders may not be changed. One may assist or cooperate in such functions.

We are social animals, not like wild animals where most of the duties are responsibilities of females, especially towards children. But such is not the case with us, human beings, as we have developed brains to excel. The moment a relation is given a name, the identity changes with certain terms, as an addition in relation. In your question, this marriage is of this kind.

I agree to accept that society has been very much conservative in this matter towards females, having attitudes mainly restricted to the kitchen and family. Those were the days when education was not in approach of all females and self-reliance was a dream to them. Those conditions began changing when the social revolution started and became successful after a lot of resistance. But still, the plight is not completely over because of male dominating attitudes. Even highly educated males are having such attitudes and their animal instincts dominate occasionally.

Now, after a few generations, the pathetic old conditions of females are changing their course, towards equality and equal terms because of the spread of education among them.

She looked at me differently for more. I continued. Please ignore the doubts and confusion because they kill the future and ruin life. Whatever we are at present, is because of our parents who were not knowing our futures and proceeded in their lives with positive attitudes. We always advance towards an unknown future and our positive attitudes pave the way. Everything will never be smooth and relations are tested in thick and thin. We should always remember that two are better than one to face any situation. One should give inspiration about satisfaction and cooperation. No one is perfect. So more doubt on self’s willpower and control may not bring anticipated results. Yes, there is no doubt that every relationship asks for sacrifice, ignorance, adjustments and tolerance up to a certain extent. The relationship of the mother always demands sacrifice. No one may help you here, beyond a limit because it is above all relationships. Even God needs her.

My views helped her a little. She expressed her doubts because of the unsuccessful marriages of her many friends. She said that most of them are facing court cases. So, she has many doubts. ” Many doubts make someone weak and may lead to loneliness,” I said. You should analyse your confidence before taking a final decision but take lessons from your parent’s life. It is true that relations give rights but brings responsibilities also and life is not like one-way traffic. We should drive carefully. Your words and attitudes play important roles in every relationship. If necessary, one should interfere, otherwise, silence is the best medicine. Honest discussions may bring solutions. If you give a chance someone to be a judge for solutions then one may add fuel to the fire as per his or her interests. Whatever, I have told, is not new but needs refreshments through any means. She smiled a little with a meaningful stare, this time. I thought this is the right time to strike at the right place. I told her that you were too thoughtful to spoil the meaningful life ahead. Moreover, your over consciousness is questioning your self-confidence. Perhaps, you are silently accepting and endorsing the old concepts and traditions related to the conditions of women who were ill-treated, most of the time as slaves. Moreover, educated and self-reliant ladies should take the lead to change the male-dominated society. Rest is in your mind to decide. But one thing, we should never forget that our mothers have made us despite limited liberties. You may also change the world in any circumstance.

Finally, I smiled and said that I could not anticipate your questions to be asked in my old age about future generations, which might have come into existence because of your cooperation and sacrifices. You may not kill God gifted instincts of any gender.

At last, I have a question for you- what will be your reaction if you find out that a girl is proposing to a boy for togetherness in future? You should note in any generation,  natural differences in males and females regarding physique, tenderness, nature, functions and responsibilities etc. may never change except in exceptional cases. You may face many such or other types of questions in times to come with more advancements and the spread of education.

This confession brought emotional reactions to her body from tip to toe. She smiled and proceeded on the important future venture in marriage with confidence. I am with her now blessed in madness in life.    

Return

I think that a suitable word denoting completion of a cycle is ” Return “. In a wheel, a point returns to its previous location in completion of one circle but it goes ahead and reaches to the location by repeating the cycle. This is applicable to all. No one can move without completing a cycle.

Nature is an open book, where a number of cycles are running continuously maintaining close coordination with each other. There are cycles in air, in the sea and within the earth. If any disturbance is detected its effects may be hazardous. The important seasonal cycle- summer – rain and winter, is well known on the earth. There may be a deviation in other parts of the earth. This cycle mainly depends on the temperature, cloud and wind. The wind cycle depends on the temperature, to carry clouds which depends on low-pressure zones to discharge water as rain. This season’s cycle along with another water’s cycle is the life of nature. Nature maintains her existence with the temperature and the water.

Every creature depends mainly on these cycles. Besides, there are the food cycle, growth cycle and many more essential cycles in nature. But the water cycle is important for sustainability. Nature frugally uses this valuable gift. Nature behaves like a miser. She uses water for creatures, stores water on the  earth for use and sends back surplus water to the ocean for maintaining the continuity of the cycle. Nature, for this, has a unique transportation system of rivers, leading to the ocean.

Nature is very kind. Nature is very cruel also. At last, nature takes all things back from her dwellers, whatever she releases from her warehouses. All creatures from  invisible to visible take essential items from the earth and surroundings for origin, growth and performing worldly duties. Nature very kindly support a life and supply essentials for sustainability. But she has defined return policies for her treasury. When a living thing becomes nonliving, her systems and agents get activated automatically at the proper time to take back all essentials used. The body decays and becomes useful for others. These cycles run continuously in nature.

Humans are also part of nature’s cycles. But they have a brain. They think, because of this, they have interfering qualities through thoughts, behaviours, emotions and greedy attitudes. They do not have their cycles to challenge nature but they have a sequence of karma (actions ) followed by fruits (results). In this sequence, karma controls the type of fruit and fruit may control the further course of actions followed by results to carry on the sequence which controls the life in the human kingdom. Karma is mainly controlled by attitudes, behaviours, surroundings and emotions. But the greed of humans plays a vital role in deciding the path of karma. Though humans, based on experience in the past, may anticipate the relationship between karma and results, yet they are disturbing nature. Humans are fully dependent on nature from day one to the last day of their lives. But in the name of sustainability, they are taking more from nature than they can return. Most of the resources are non-renewable and non- replenishing.

Nature has suffered from humans to the extent that her seasonal cycle and the water cycle have been disturbed the most. The results of karma are backfiring on humans and their existence is in danger. Nature is taking its course to sustain and is giving a warning to humans to be careful to change their thinking before it is too late.

We have potential beyond imagination. We have to rise to the occasion to limit our needs to a minimum. Otherwise, the fruits of actions will be annihilating. We may not save ourselves with all technological advancements. The return may be to the stone age but on the wheel of destruction what we are witnessing in the form of different types of wars between countries in the world. We are forgetting that our cycle is completed from the almighty to the almighty via natural duties with the assistance of nature made by the almighty. We are so intelligent that in this cycle of life we always fight for the existence of the almighty and we fight for my God and your God but we forget to define a human and humanity. We should celebrate a human day also for our sake. We should also think about fixing a day in the name of God, in a year, to remember that we are sons and daughters of only one God.