My shadow

Because of me and myself, I have a shadow. My shadow is best companion of me in day or in light. It is black and unseen in dark. I have virtual shadow in night. My shadow increases and decreases in size owing to source and distance of light. I may have many shadows as per number of sources of light. I am in grief that I may not have shadow in dark and in the sky. I may not give colours to it.

My shadow helps me alone in deciding many things. I get knowledge of directions and probable distance of source of light except the distance of Sun. My shadow always has its identity, except one time it has lost its identity informing me because shadow- shadow interaction began for third shadow. Now my shadow is not in my control.


My shadow has no life but has the philosophy of life. Outer shadow needs outer source of light but inner shadow needs own enlightenment because problems of world are due to internal shadow. Our attitudes, thoughts, actions and interactions are controlled by this shadow. My physical shadow shows directions and distance but inner shadow makes blind and covers self consciousness. Inner shadow is limited to self body, but affects the surroundings. I have to search peace. I have to spare me from immoral things. I have to be immortal from mortality. I have to be selfless. I have to be of use for others. I have to leave arrogance. I have to search and follow truth. I have to overcome my inner shadow for all these changes. Every thing is within.

My outer shadow will not be with me forever but inner shadow may make my life heavenly on earth. I have to meet a path shower guru ( teacher ). I have to do noble deeds. I have to be me first, for others.

I read books. I got confused. Every book had its limitation. No book was complete in itself. Some books were for allurements. Some books were self praising.

Ultimately, I have a thought and concluded as under – that worldly duties should be performed in pious manner without harming anyone. I can change the world but I have to change first. Smiling face, soft words, and ready to help attitudes give peace and make life easy. Only deed should speak. Name should be used for identity and not for boasting. No one will carry any thing at the time of departure from this world. So attitude of hoarding should be beyond mind. Opportunities should be shared and needy should get first preference. Everyone should respect each other and should behave as servant, not the master.

All these are possible but inner shadow should be in control through fact finding and removing all greedy attitudes. One should have faith in self. Nothing is mine forever. Everyone is important. Everyone is a tourist in the world and is on tourist visa for  certain  duration. If I help someone, it means I have helped myself. Such attitudes  may be sufficient for control of inner shadow’s hunger. I am ready to bear the fruits of my deeds. I have hope. I have to Judge myself, other may not truly judge me. May God bless me and my soul rest in peace on earth and in heaven.

I know that God is great but I have to give him the chance.

THAT DAY – A STORY FOR CHANGE

That day, I was witnessing the other face of her mild appearance. Till that time, she was in dilemma, to continue in that city or not. I knew her, as she was one of my classmates. She was not the front or back bencher. Her favourite place was in the middle but I preferred back bench for my comfort in  the classroom. I had attitude from very beginning, which still continued,  to wait and watch, before making companion, then friend if frequency matched. Because of that, I had only a few friends.

She became my friend one day,  after many  long discussions on life and its meaning. She was serious and I was always in light, joyous mood to have concentration. I had my style. One day, I dared to ask about her liking for the middle bench in the classroom. That day,  I had seen, for the first time, a light mood in her, when she smiled and said to have balance between ups and downs. I had guessed that that had been a serious smile. Life needed balance to exist in this biased world for females, leaving homes for a cause – she said. That day she told about the reason of her special psychology.

She had revolted in her conservative family of a village,  for higher study in university and was meeting her needs by self employment. I had got not sympathy but honours for her, since that day.
Naturally, I became more supportive to her. I could not be her shadow but a good friend was in me for her.

That day,  I had seen that she had cried, as her father had given ultimatum to be back to village for marriage. Marriage was the sole responsibility of her father who was impatient to complete it for the sake of  village and community. She had refused but her mother, who was supportive to her, came to settle the issue. I had met her mother, as mediator for her dreams. I got that tradition was the hindrance. She did not want to be in house, helpless like mother and grandmother fully dependent on males whether husband, brothers or sons. She knew that education could only break the ice. Her mother was worried about getting a match in community after her higher qualification.

That day, she had broken on her fate in the hands of males. She wanted to change her destiny. I knew that she was really nervous. I was also helpless. She looked towards me. I could not face her, as I was also student. Her eyes asked support. That language was silent.

That day, I immediately met to an NGO supporting females for education. She was recognised for her will and new light of hope in her life and for many other females. She grabbed the opportunity. Her mother blessed and left with encouraging words to not forget rituals and be the example, for others.

She was finally left alone to sail in the world. She started a job in the same NGO after completion of education. I was also earning in the same city and  frequently meeting her as friend.

One day, during discussion it was concluded that present engagement was not the end of the tunnel. It was decided to hold commanding position through administrative services. Due to her firm attitudes,  commitment and continuous preparation, she was finally on an important chair to deliver for betterment of others.

She was glorified for her achievements. The leader of her community felicitated her. Her father and relatives were abstaining from her because of their egos. But that barrier was broken when she reached her village to lay foundation stone for girls school. Her motivational speech, encouraged girls and villagers took pledge to send their girls out of village for higher education. It was a sea change in the village’s history. She was given credit for her foresightedness that education was important weapon to change destiny. Her father was also getting respect from officials and villagers. She was accepted by her father who was repenting on his traditional attitudes, under pressure of community.

I was happy to note my role in the whole changes in a life and for a good cause. But that was not the end for me. One day, in  an auto taxi she reached to my office without security and  entered into my chamber hurriedly. To my utter surprise, she called my home’s nick name, lovingly given by my mother. She took a seat before me and without any hitch,  told that she did not want discussions on life any more, that day, because she had discussed a lot with me. She wanted to give her life and took someone’s life. She wanted to give meaning and momentum to her life for future and continuity of her legacy. I told that I could not help in that extremely private matter. She laughed and said that was our matter and no one else was involved. She had decided to give ritualistic name to our friendship for social acceptance. I discussed a lot but she had taken permission from my parents. She was knowing that I had denied marrying many times. That day, she was woman of substance, eager to excell in all aspects of life. That day, her smile attacked on my nerves. I was the sailor for her – yours faithfully.

Ultimately, she took my hand and my life for her to be one. The good deeds continued. Story of life began and got meaning by the grace of almighty for others, from that day.

We were reciprocal to each other