Disturbance

I am busy fighting. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am busy remembering your faults. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am busy recounting your mistakes. Don’t disturb me, please.
I am busy observing others for my sake. Don’t disturb me, please.

I am afraid, I am evaluating myself.
I am disturbed, I am consoling myself.
I am obliged, I am bending myself.
I became human by killing an animal in me.
I am becoming an animal again by killing humanity.
I am changing my face into many faces.

I am hurting,
I am healing.
I am gaining,
I am decorating my inner home.

I am one,
I am for someone.
I am yours,
I am submerging my hidden thoughts.

I am flaring,
I am engulfing.
I am helping,
I am checking.
I am deteriorating,
I am succumbing.
I am denigrating,
I am relinquishing,
I am enjoying it.

I have drawn a line,
I have made a barrier,
I have sent a list.

My almighty –
I intend to understand your creations. I want to leave all my bad habits for my sake to enjoy your world, made with expectations. These are my disturbances. I am the dweller with unclear thoughts and an unknown future. I want to be to meet your intentions and live a life of your aspirations. I want to forget myself and my whimsical reasons to change interests for you. I want to follow your rules. I want to be lost in your search. Please remind your mind to this heinous world.